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How widely do you think the problem spreads the people spend too much time on work than their personal life and experience time shortage? what problem it cause?

How widely do you think the problem spreads the people spend too much time on work than their personal life and experience time shortage? what problem it cause? BxWX
one of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is affecting personal life due to spending too much time on work in all over the world. There is a wide range of factors that account why this is happening. In my opinion, this situation can be reminded provided that some effective measures are taken. There are myriad reasons accountable for this soaring concern, unlike everyday problem which can be dealt with easily, shortage of time, which is extremely perilous can lead to an array of issue as relationship problem and growth of children. thanks to the aforementioned predicament, it can not only people but also society can suffer immensely. steps to deal with this problem are many, but the most effective ones are in fact note remote or complicated but accessible and predictable. the primary ones teams from the affected by ensuring the implementation on off side rules and policies, government authorised can help a nation thrive. Besides, international organisations and local authorities should take the necessary initiative cumulatively. Only when convergent efforts all sectors are ensured, can we expect to see some considerable progress in curbing the issue. To conclude, dealing with work life balance is one of the prevalent problems that face people all over the world. nevertheless, concretesteps discussed above can effectively strengthen the fight against and alleviate this growing issue. Its potential impact is indeed too dire to ignore.
one
of the most conspicuous trends of
today
's world is affecting personal life due to spending too much time on work in all over the world. There is a wide range of factors that account why this is happening. In my opinion, this situation can
be reminded
provided that
some
effective measures
are taken
.

There are myriad reasons accountable for this soaring concern, unlike everyday
problem
which can
be dealt
with
easily
, shortage of time, which is
extremely
perilous can lead to an array of issue as relationship
problem
and growth of children.
thanks
to the aforementioned predicament, it can not
only
people
but
also
society can suffer
immensely
.

steps
to deal with this
problem
are
many
,
but
the most effective
ones
are in fact note remote or complicated
but
accessible and predictable.
the
primary
ones
teams
from the
affected
by ensuring the implementation on off side
rules
and policies,
government
authorised
can
help
a nation thrive.
Besides
, international
organisations
and local authorities should take the necessary initiative
cumulatively
.
Only
when convergent efforts all sectors
are ensured
, can we
expect
to
see
some
considerable progress in curbing the issue.

To conclude
, dealing with
work life
balance is one of the prevalent
problems
that face
people
all over the world.
nevertheless
,
concretesteps
discussed above can
effectively
strengthen the fight against and alleviate this growing issue. Its potential impact is
indeed
too dire to
ignore
.
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IELTS essay How widely do you think the problem spreads the people spend too much time on work than their personal life and experience time shortage? what problem it cause?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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