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In this day people assumed that teenager must to follow traditional regulations, the others believe that the young people must behave to freedom accesibilty on their life without bound from culture system. There are reason both of opinion that will outline below include the author perspective.

In this day people assumed that teenager must to follow traditional regulations, the others believe that the young people must behave to freedom accesibilty on their life without bound from culture system. There are reason both of opinion that will outline below include the author perspective. PLjqE
In this day people assumed that teenager must to follow traditional regulations, the others believe that the young people must behave to freedom accesibilty on their life without bound from culture system. There are reason both of opinion that will outline below include the author perspective. On the one hand, the majority of nations on the world have an authorities about culture system which the young generations have an option to choose follow the system. The reason of teenager to support that culture because respect to the anchestor concept traditional which regard as a contribution for the grandson and descendesant. Secondly, many traditional concepts such the hierarchy system to maintain by youth people. It support to the leader of elder because they have decision and connection of messages between young generation with their anchestor. Therefore, traditions could help teenagers to build their lives more efficiency based on story of philosophy by the elder. On the other hand, in this modern era that phenomal because of this situation people have a choice to be freedom. This support from government which have democrazy system that influence young generation situation to behave free wihout bound of traditional. Another case some of traditional concepts are totally wrong cause several problems that people get disadvantageous for instance about the animal abuse and others. As a result, wise decision that people have to maintain and respect the cultures eventhough they have another way to choose be free. To sum up, after analyzing this both of point of view, the author believed that it should be better to respect anchestor message. It is the time that young people make their own decision about traditional concept.
In this day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assumed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
regulations, the others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
behave to freedom
Possible spelling mistake found.
accesibilty
on their life without bound from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. There are reason both of opinion that will outline below include the author perspective.

On the one hand, the majority of nations on the world have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an authority" or simply "authorities"?
an authorities
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations have an option to choose follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. The reason of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
to support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
respect to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
anchestor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
which regard as a contribution for the grandson and
Possible spelling mistake found.
descendesant
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concepts
such the hierarchy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
to maintain by youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
Did you mean "supports"?
support
to the leader of elder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have decision and connection of messages between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
anchestor
.
Therefore
, traditions could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more efficiency based on story of philosophy by the elder.

On the other hand
, in this modern era that
Possible spelling mistake found.
phenomal
because of this
situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a choice to be freedom. This support from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which have
Possible spelling mistake found.
democrazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
that influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation situation to behave free
Possible spelling mistake found.
wihout
bound of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
. Another case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concepts
are
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
cause several problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disadvantageous
for instance
about the animal abuse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
As a result
, wise decision that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain and respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
they have another way to choose
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to be"
be
free.

To sum up, after analyzing this both of point of view, the author believed that it should be better to respect
Possible spelling mistake found.
anchestor
message. It is the time that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concept
.
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IELTS essay In this day people assumed that teenager must to follow traditional regulations, the others believe that the young people must behave to freedom accesibilty on their life without bound from culture system. There are reason both of opinion that will outline below include the author perspective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • In this day people assumed that teenager must to follow traditional regulations, the others believe that the young people must behave to freedom accesibilty on their life without bound from culture system. There are reason both of opinion that will outline below include the author perspective.