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Some people believe there should be a fixed retirement age, while others argue that it should be according to the person's own choice. Discuss both views and gives your opinion

Some people believe there should be a fixed retirement age, while others argue that it should be according to the person's own choice. Discuss both views and gives your opinion Mqjx6
Retirement is a significant event in a person's life. One of major concern today relate to wheter, the age number should be set firm for retireing, or it should depend upon person decession when he feels. Some people hold the opinion that it should be fix. To begin, it provide a chance chance to employers to have more job opening each year in company which will even government help to put more people into labour force. This will help to lower the unemployement rate in country and, those fresh hire could be usefull to companies in certain ways for instance, they better understand the young millennials thoughts to attract them which will be usefull increasing company sales. However, critics may argue that it should be opinated according to person choice. Some profession demands professionalism to practise, which comes through hand on training and extenise knowledge. for example, to become a surgon you probably need a good concentration or in -depth knowledge of body parts to perform surgery successfully. I personally support the latter view beacuse larger number of retired people can become burden upon country resources, and these resource could be else spent to provide better infrastructure which can help to improve the living standard of people. In conclusion, i would like to restate that it would depend upon person personal choice when he belives, he has earned a good money to spent in his older period of life.
Retirement is a significant
event
in a person's life. One of major concern
today
relate to
wheter
, the age number should
be set
firm for
retireing
, or it should depend upon person
decession
when he feels.

Some
people
hold the opinion that it should be
fix
. To
begin
, it
provide
a
chance chance
to employers to have more job opening each year in
company
which will even
government
help
to put more
people
into
labour
force. This will
help
to lower the
unemployement
rate in country and, those fresh hire could be
usefull
to
companies
in certain ways
for instance
,

they better understand the young millennials thoughts to attract them which will be
usefull
increasing
company
sales.

However
, critics may argue that it should be
opinated
according to person choice.
Some
profession demands professionalism to
practise
, which
comes
through hand on training and
extenise
knowledge.
for
example, to become a
surgon
you
probably
need a
good
concentration or in -depth knowledge of body
parts


to
perform surgery
successfully
.

I
personally
support the latter view
beacuse
larger number of retired
people
can become burden upon country resources, and
these resource
could be else spent to provide better infrastructure which can
help
to
improve
the living standard of
people
.
In conclusion
,
i
would like to restate that it would depend upon person personal choice when
he belives
, he has earned a
good
money to spent in his older period of life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe there should be a fixed retirement age, while others argue that it should be according to the person's own choice. Discuss both views and gives your opinion

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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