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enjoying concerts in today's world

enjoying concerts in today's world mXllK
There are fewer and fewer young people today who enjoy going out for concerts and plays. In my opinion, this is a result of increased isolation due to newer media and this demographic could be motivated to attend by increased funding for these events. The main reason that plays and concerts are declining in popularity for younger generations is the wealth of other entertainment options. In the past, individuals could watch television, read books, and listen to music at home but would often opt to go out for live performances. Now, it is possible to isolate yourself virtually from the real world because of the satisfactions available from social media, streaming websites like Netflix and YouTube, online music platforms, and the internet generally. Therefore, spending money on an expensive experience no longer holds the same appeal.
There are fewer and fewer young
people
today
who enjoy going out for concerts and plays. In my opinion, this is a result of increased isolation due to newer media and this demographic could
be motivated
to attend by increased funding for these
events
.

The main reason that plays and concerts are declining in popularity for younger generations is the wealth of other entertainment options. In the past, individuals could
watch
television, read books, and listen to music at home
but
would
often
opt to go out for
live
performances.
Now
, it is possible to isolate yourself
virtually
from the real world
because
of the satisfactions available from social media, streaming websites like Netflix and YouTube, online music platforms, and the internet
generally
.
Therefore
, spending money on an expensive experience no longer holds the same appeal.
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IELTS essay enjoying concerts in today's world

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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