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In this day and age, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding which subjects are considered important to students.

In this day and age, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding which subjects are considered important to students. AJ3en
In this day and age, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding which subjects are considered important to students. Some agree that History falls into that category, while some argue Science and Technology are more integral. However, I believe that all three subjects aforementioned are equally vital and students should not neglect any subject. On the one hand, History is irreplaceable because it provides pupils with a sense of patriotism. Although learning the rudiments of national and world history is of utmost importance, many students tend to neglect the subject and barely even pass. These days, youngsters are too indulged in social media or partying to pay attention to History classes. The status quo is unacceptable because pupils need a basic grasp of history to succeed or serve their countries in the future. Studying History can make youngsters proud of their ancestors, and offer them a sense of nationalism. On the other hand, Science and Technology are rudimental since they help students tremendously in the age of technological development. It is common knowledge that humans are living in an industrial revolution, and without a common understanding of related subjects, one can never strive for success. In addition, Science and Technology can increase pupils’ chances of being able to work in demanding and lucrative fields, for example, chemical engineering or computer research. In summary, I think that History, Science, and Technology are equally important these days since they bring about numerous advantages for youngsters. Hence, they should start studying and not abandon any subject.
In this day and age, there has been
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a lot of
controversy surrounding which
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subjects
are considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
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students
.
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Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
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History
falls into that category, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are more integral.
However
, I believe that all three
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subjects
aforementioned are
equally
vital and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not neglect any subject.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is irreplaceable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides pupils with a sense of patriotism. Although learning the rudiments of national and world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is of utmost importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to neglect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and
barely
even pass. These days, youngsters are too indulged in social media or partying to pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
classes. The status quo is unacceptable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
pupils need a basic grasp of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to succeed or serve their countries in the future. Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
youngsters proud of their ancestors, and offer them a sense of nationalism.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are
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rudimental
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tremendously
in the age of technological development. It is common knowledge that humans are living in an industrial revolution, and without a common understanding of related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, one can never strive for success.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
can increase pupils’ chances of being able to work in demanding and lucrative fields,
for example
, chemical engineering or computer research.

In summary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
these days since they bring about numerous advantages for youngsters.
Hence
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
studying and not abandon any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
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IELTS essay In this day and age, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding which subjects are considered important to students.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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