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in this day and age the number of existing human inhabitant exceeds the actual carrying capacity of Earth

in this day and age the number of existing human inhabitant exceeds the actual carrying capacity of Earth VrmqK
There is a wide belief that population is the backbone of society. Notwithstanding, in this day and age the number of existing human inhabitant exceeds the actual carrying capacity of Earth is one of the most thorny issues throughout the world. This essay below will analyze some major reasons for this situation, and its consequences will be presented. It is possibly said that this urgent phenomenon may be caused by some main factors. First and foremost, this problem stems from the development of medicine and the scientific-technological progress in the contemporary day. The more life improves, the longer people live. To illustration this point, I would like to mention that the World Health Organization (WHO) released a report showing that the average life expectancy worldwide increase by 5. 5 years old in the period of 19 years starting from 2000. This means that the increasing longevity of the elder leads to the boom of people volume. Another point I would like to clarify is that the demand for productive forces in developing countries. This is owing to the fact that the sciece and technology of these nations are still undeveloped so they need people as the main source of labor. For instance, the population of developed countries such as USA, European countries was invariably less than of developing nations, especially in Africa. Within the boundary of these alarming matter, there are a myriad of viable impacts. One primary effect should be that the housing issues. If the coutries become overpopulated, we will have to deforest to construct the residential area in order to tackle this housing problem, it will lead to the global warming and the people’s health will be impacted. The further consequence could be seen that overpopulation not only affects the environment but also bring the detrimental aspect on our life. In other words, when this topical concern happen, the number of unemployments will be rapidly rised because there are fewer jobs to support people. And this is also the root reasons for theft situation. In conclusion, the aforementioned facts have outlined the reasons as well as the adverse outcome of the proliferation of global citizens. Its causes and effects should be taken into account. People should have further consideration on this issue.
There is a wide belief that population is the backbone of society. Notwithstanding, in this day and age the number of existing human inhabitant exceeds the actual carrying capacity of Earth is one of the most thorny issues throughout the world. This essay below will analyze
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major reasons for this situation, and its consequences will
be presented
.

It is
possibly
said that this urgent phenomenon may
be caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main factors.
First
and foremost, this problem stems from the development of medicine and the scientific-technological progress in the contemporary day. The more life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
, the longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. To illustration this point, I would like to mention that the World Health Organization (WHO) released a report showing that the average life expectancy worldwide increase by 5. 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in the period of 19 years starting from 2000. This means that the increasing longevity of the elder leads to the boom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
volume. Another point I would like to clarify is that the demand for productive forces in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. This is owing to the fact that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sciece
and technology of these nations are
still
undeveloped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as the main source of labor.
For instance
, the population of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
such
A determiner is probably missing here: "as the USA".
as USA
, European countries was
invariably
less than of developing nations,
especially
in Africa.

Within the boundary of these alarming matter, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of viable impacts. One primary effect should be that the housing issues. If the
Possible spelling mistake found.
coutries
become overpopulated, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deforest to construct the residential area in order to tackle this housing problem, it will lead to the global warming and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health will
be impacted
. The
further
consequence could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that overpopulation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bring the detrimental aspect on our life.
In other words
, when this topical concern happen, the number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployments
will be
rapidly
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are fewer jobs to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And this is
also
the root reasons for theft situation.

In conclusion
, the aforementioned facts have outlined the reasons
as well
as the adverse outcome of the proliferation of global citizens. Its causes and effects should
be taken
into account.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should have
further
consideration on this issue.
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IELTS essay in this day and age the number of existing human inhabitant exceeds the actual carrying capacity of Earth

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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