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In this contemporary scenario, utilization of dessert has been burgeoned among masses.

In this contemporary scenario, utilization of dessert has been burgeoned among masses. 2bKjA
In this contemporary scenario, utilization of dessert has been burgeoned among masses. It is argued by certain group of people that regime should foster to use sugar less while others, believe that it is their own onus and further, I will represent these notions in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are a few factors which define that authorities of the countries ought to pull individuals to consume fewer sweet. Initially, government should impose tax on goods which are made by sugar and render restrictions to factories to retail a stack of dessert so that, masses can not afford easily to purchase these sorts of products as well as, government should give advertisement through television and ought to tell pertaining to the side effects of taking sugar in higher amount such as daibties and obesty. On the other hand, it is considered by a faction of people that it is their own responsibility to eat sweet less as there are some causes behind this. Initially, in this intensive world, most of the individuals are too much educated and they have knowledge that what is good and what is untoward for their health, however, there are limited people who are illitrate and do not have awareness regarding to their balace diet therefore, they should listen the video which tell us about the harmful influence of using sugar and they should look after their health by themselves. In conclusion, in my perspective, although, taking fewer dessert is their own onus, regine ought to impose tax on sweet products in order to lesson the sale of sweet.
In this contemporary scenario, utilization of dessert has
been burgeoned
among masses. It
is argued
by certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that regime should foster to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
less while others, believe that it is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
onus and
further
, I will represent these notions in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are a few factors which define that authorities of the countries ought to pull individuals to consume fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
.
Initially
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose tax on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which
are made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
and render restrictions to factories to retail a stack of dessert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, masses can not afford
easily
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
these sorts of products
as well
as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give advertisement through television and ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
pertaining to the side effects of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in higher amount such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
daibties
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesty
.

On the other hand
, it
is considered
by a faction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that it is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes behind this.
Initially
, in this intensive world, most of the individuals are too much
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
educated and
they have knowledge that what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and what is untoward for their health,
however
, there
are limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
illitrate
and do not have awareness
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
balace
diet
therefore
, they should listen the video which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about the harmful influence of using
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sugar and
they should look after their health by themselves.

In conclusion
, in my perspective, although, taking fewer dessert is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
onus,
Possible spelling mistake found.
regine
ought to impose tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
products in order to lesson the sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
.
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IELTS essay In this contemporary scenario, utilization of dessert has been burgeoned among masses.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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