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In this contemporary era, a number of seniors prefer to live in retiral groups instead of spending their lives with their grown-up kids.

In this contemporary era, a number of seniors prefer to live in retiral groups instead of spending their lives with their grown-up kids. JPAB
In this contemporary era, a number of seniors prefer to live in retiral groups instead of spending their lives with their grown-up kids. Although, this trend seems to be popular in developed countries; however, I personally think that it is overall a negative development. To begin with, the initial reason why young generations choose to live alone is that they are taught to do everything since they were young whether it be cooking, managing personal finance, or studying. This makes a person self-independent which is beneficial to the development of the country in the long run. However, this trend seems to have more drawbacks as they could suffer from psychological issues because they are unable to share their emotions with friends or family when they are sad. A good example of this is depression, a mental illness caused by loneliness. To make matters work, it could lead some groups of people to end their life by committing suicide. Additionally, living independently could be extremely costly as every household expenditure has to be paid by only one person. Everything in this modern day is very expensive. Therefore, single occupants have to work extremely hard to avoid financial problems. It would be better for young generations to stay together and share the bill. For instance, residential prices in metropolitan areas would be super expensive. Individuals could share a room with their companions to decrease accommodation expenses. To conclude, the positive effect of being independent could not outweigh its negative effects as this trend may possibly lead to psychological problems and bad financial conditions. People should spend more time together, which will create a happy society in the future.
In this contemporary era, a number of seniors prefer to
live
in
retiral
groups
instead
of spending their
lives
with their grown-up kids. Although, this trend seems to be popular in
developed countries
;
however
, I
personally
think
that it is
overall
a
negative
development.

To
begin
with, the initial reason why young generations choose to
live
alone is that they
are taught
to do everything since they were young whether it be cooking, managing personal finance, or studying. This
makes
a person self-independent which is beneficial to the development of the country in the long run.
However
, this trend seems to have more drawbacks as they could suffer from psychological issues
because
they are unable to share their emotions with friends or family when they are sad. A
good
example of this is depression, a mental illness caused by loneliness. To
make
matters work, it could lead
some
groups of
people
to
end
their
life
by committing suicide.

Additionally
, living
independently
could be
extremely
costly as every household expenditure
has to
be paid
by
only
one person. Everything in this modern day is
very
expensive.
Therefore
, single occupants
have to
work
extremely
hard
to avoid financial problems. It would be better for young generations to stay together and share the bill.
For instance
, residential prices in metropolitan areas would be super expensive. Individuals could share a room with their companions to decrease accommodation expenses.

To conclude
, the
positive
effect of being independent could not outweigh its
negative
effects as this trend may
possibly
lead to psychological problems and
bad
financial conditions.
People
should spend more time together, which will create a happy society in the future.
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IELTS essay In this contemporary era, a number of seniors prefer to live in retiral groups instead of spending their lives with their grown-up kids.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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