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In this article, I want to talk about

In this article, I want to talk about R2M7Y
In this article, I want to talk about the responsibility of developing poorer countries. For developing poorer countries, we have two choices. The first choice is rich countries send something like food and, convey their technology to poor countries. Another choice is the government of poorer nations developed their country itself. In the rest of the article, I want to discuss the two choices. The first choice is so hard because these nations must use developed nations' experience and they will pass throw the industrial countries too fast. Because of that, on some occasions, wealthy countries send some food or give a loan to the poor country but, they don’t convey their technology to the other countries. Because technology is one of the powerful weapons among the rest of the world. In conclusion, I don’t think this is the foreign responsibility to share their resources with the poorer country. The other choice is the government developed their country. This approach needs so many times and a sufficient government which developed country step by step. I think poorer nations can make a shortcut. Although, the wealthy countries don’t give their information freely. But, the low-income countries must send some students to educated in developed nations university and learn a lot of things. After that, they could come back to their countries and use the knowledge which had learned in the developed countries. To sum up, wealthy countries wouldn’t and don’t have any responsibility to convey the information to poor countries however, they must help the poor nations in some cases like providing food. As a result of these things, the government of weak country should solve their problems theirself and best way for that is people who were educated overseas and know the path of developing.
In this article, I want to talk about the responsibility of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. For developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, we have two
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choices
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
is rich
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countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
something like food and, convey their technology to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
is the
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government
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
itself. In the rest of the article, I want to discuss the two choices.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
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nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations'
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they will pass throw the industrial
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countries
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasions, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food or give a loan to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, they don’t convey their technology to the other
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countries
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
technology is one of the powerful weapons among the rest of the world.
In conclusion
, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the foreign responsibility to share their resources with the
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poorer
country.

The other
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choice
is the
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government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This approach needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times and a sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
step by step. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a shortcut.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
don’t give their information
freely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students to educated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
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nations
university and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things. After that, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the knowledge which had learned in the
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developed
countries.

To sum up, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
wouldn’t and don’t have any responsibility to convey the information to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
however
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases like providing food.
As a result
of these things, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should solve their problems
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirself
and best way for
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were educated
overseas and know the path of developing.
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IELTS essay In this article, I want to talk about

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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