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In their businesses, companies are emphasizing their products as new. Why is this? Do you think this is negative or positive?

In their businesses, companies are emphasizing their products as new. Why is this? Do you think this is negative or positive? BW1E5
• In today’s competitive world, some businesses are illustrating their products as new in several parts and there are several reasons for this statement. In this essay, the causes of this position will be elaborated before my personal opinion. • To begin with, multiple factors are existing for being advertised of goods as fresh-making and the first is that in the area of marketing, several factories are producing the same merchandise which creates the need for overcoming the obstacles by expanding the rate of propaganda and illustrating their products as unique. It should be stated as an explanation that car manufacturers are creating new designs and increasing their reputation by adding a new function to previous styles, however, the origin of all mobiles are similar in terms of structure and motor. Secondly, an increase in the number of costumers can be concerned as a vital cause for this issue. • If this issue is taken into consideration, it would be known as a minus point due to the presence of special factors leading to this concept. Initially, commercial companies are trying to live on new sides of their products. To prove, humanity expects something useful and mankind think newly appearing functions of specific products are absolutely beneficial because of being the victim of advertising. To exemplify, the cars which are being manufactured with the brand of TESLA are believed to be of the highest quality whereas the car making companies in developing countries do not meet the requirements. • By way of conclusion, having analyzed the reasons for becoming known of multiple products as new, it is possible to conclude that this is a disadvantageous situation as companies are trying to make their merchandise best seller.
• In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s competitive world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businesses are illustrating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
in several parts and there are several reasons for this statement. In this essay, the causes of this position will
be elaborated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my personal opinion.

• To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, multiple factors are existing for
being advertised
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
as fresh-making and the
first
is that in the area of marketing, several factories are producing the same merchandise which creates the need for overcoming the obstacles by expanding the rate of propaganda and illustrating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as unique. It should
be stated
as an explanation that car manufacturers are creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
designs and increasing their reputation by adding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
function to previous styles,
however
, the origin of all mobiles are similar in terms of structure and motor.
Secondly
, an increase in the number of costumers can
be concerned
as a vital cause for this issue.

• If this issue
is taken
into consideration, it would
be known
as a minus point due to the presence of special factors leading to this concept.
Initially
, commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sides of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. To prove, humanity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
something useful and mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
newly
appearing functions of specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
absolutely
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being the victim of advertising. To exemplify, the cars which are
being manufactured
with the brand of TESLA
are believed
to be of the highest quality whereas the car making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirements.

• By way of conclusion, having analyzed the reasons for becoming known of multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
, it is possible
to conclude
that this is a disadvantageous situation as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
A determiner is probably missing here: "merchandise the best".
merchandise best
seller.

IELTS essay In their businesses, companies are emphasizing their products as new. Why is this? Do you think this is negative or positive?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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