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In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? n0no
Previously, students seeking to obtain their university degree were more satisfied to study in their own country yet due to globalization in the recent years, there are opportunities provided for them to study abroad. In my opinion, there are variety of advantages and disadvantages concerning this development. Firstly, one of the initual benefits of one studying abroad would experience is becoming entirely independent in providing food, life facilities and etc. Secondly, by living in another country, one can get familiar with the culture and traditions of that particular country. This can improve their social skills and the way they interact and communicate with the people of other nations. Furthermore and by improving social skills and independency, one can be provided by wide range of opportunities in fields related to its major like job offers, project involvement, etc. Yet it's better to consider that the quality and quantity of opportunities are completly co-related with the fact that whether the destination country is more developed than the first country or not. To point out the disadvantages, getting homesick is an inseprable part of any one who had already left its home country. In this state one can experience depression, anxiety and loneliness in a way that it forces them to return back to their family members and country. In conclusion, I think that if anyone is determined to be successful abroad, he/she may face different obstacles yet opportunities.
Previously, students seeking to obtain their university degree were more satisfied to study in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
yet
due to globalization in the recent years, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
provided for them to study abroad. In my opinion, there are variety of advantages and disadvantages concerning this development.

Firstly
, one of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
initual
benefits of one studying abroad would experience is becoming
entirely
independent in providing food, life facilities
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
Secondly
, by living in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with the culture and traditions of that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and the way they interact and communicate with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of other nations.
Furthermore
and by improving social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
independency
, one can
be provided
by wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in fields related to its major like job offers, project involvement, etc.
Yet
it's better to consider that the quality and quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
completly
co-related with the fact that whether the destination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is more developed than the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or not.

To point out the disadvantages, getting homesick is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
inseprable
part of
Did you mean "anyone"?
any one
who had already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
its home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In this state one can experience depression, anxiety and loneliness in a way that it forces them to
Consider using "return".
return back
to their family members and country.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if anyone
is determined
to be successful abroad, he/she may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
obstacles
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
.
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IELTS essay In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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