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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. xkJ1
It is widely believed that shopping used to be considered TO BE a daily domestic house chore, however, this perspective has been changing significantly by far and shopping is currently a hobby of numerous people. The writer unequivocally states that this shift of thought carries beneficial effects to a certain extent and this following essay will analyze it in detail. The stance that shopping is metamorphosing from a routine task to a hobby is possessed with a value that people are likely to gain a greater sense of contentment in their lives. Indeed, most people in charge of doing domestic tasks oftentimes think that they are forced to do this activity against their wills in order to ensure that their houses are provided with sufficient foods and necessary house appliances to survive, thereby sacrificing a huge amount of time that could be spent to pursue their hobbies or enhance their work's PRODUCTIVITY. However, when shopping has been seen as a hobby, people will find it more enjoyable and valuable which enables them to experience a higher level of happiness and satisfaction, let alone serving as a highly useful tool for stress-relieving, particularly in this modern era when people are usually burdened with a heavy workload. On the other hand, shopping might only be immune from detrimental impacts when people can manage and spend their budget efficiently. One obvious example is that many youngsters nowadays feel overjoyed TO GO shopping and fail to resist some tempting deals and eye-catching LUXURIES. As a result, they might end up EITHER squandering their money on some non-essential goods or expending money beyond their financial capacity, leading to an unavoidable consequence of being broke. Accordingly, those who have a good grasp of managing their budget and drawing a line between what they want and what they truly need are those who may acquire the highest benefits from this above-mentioned tendency. After weighing all the aforementioned, I can safely deduce that the changing thinking of the role shopping plays in our daily life will be likely a positive inclination that MIGHT BRING more enjoyable moments to our life when an efficient way of spending is taken into account.
It is
widely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be considered
TO BE a daily domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chore,
however
, this perspective has been changing
significantly
by far and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
currently
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
of numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The writer
unequivocally
states that this shift of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
carries beneficial effects to a certain extent and this following essay will analyze it in detail.

The stance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is metamorphosing from a routine task to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
is possessed
with a value that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to gain a greater sense of contentment in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Indeed
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in charge of doing domestic tasks oftentimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
are forced
to do this activity against their wills in order to ensure that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are provided
with sufficient foods and necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
appliances to survive, thereby sacrificing a huge amount of time that could
be spent
to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
or enhance their work's PRODUCTIVITY.
However
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find it more enjoyable and valuable which enables them to experience a higher level of happiness and satisfaction,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone serving as a
highly
useful tool for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-relieving,
particularly
in this modern era when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
burdened with a heavy workload.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be immune from detrimental impacts when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can manage and spend their budget
efficiently
. One obvious example is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters nowadays feel overjoyed TO GO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and fail to resist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tempting deals and eye-catching LUXURIES.
As a result
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up EITHER squandering their money on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
non-essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
or expending money beyond their financial capacity, leading to an unavoidable consequence of being broke.
Accordingly
, those who have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grasp of managing their budget and drawing a line between what they want and what they
truly
need are those who may acquire the highest benefits from this above-mentioned tendency.

After weighing all the aforementioned, I can
safely
deduce that the changing thinking of the role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
plays in our daily life will be likely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
inclination that MIGHT BRING more enjoyable moments to our life when an efficient way of spending
is taken
into account.

IELTS essay In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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