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Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past .to what extent do you agree or disagree .

Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. 9OVX
Nowadays, some masses consider that in contemporary era, people become more busy in their life as a result they have not sufficient time to communicate with their near and dear ones as compared to past. from my perspective I partially accord with this statement therefore I will elaborate my piont of view in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are number of reasons why now individuals have enough time for their family members than previous time. first of all, in earlier times people spent quality times with each others as well as share their feelings with them but now technology is advanced individuals spend more times on internet instead of talking with their near and dear ones. This trends not only increase the distance among the masses but also fade the relationship. Moving further, due to long hour in working places humans find difficulty to communicate with each others and even they cannot exchange their emotions with them. for instance, after completing job or study humans feel more tired and their energy do not allow them to expense more times with near and dear ones. On the flip side, owing to development in technology which gives more opportunities to people to stay in touch with near and dear ones such as now human beings use different apps like Facebook, Instagram and many others. To conclude, although individuals have more chance to communicate with their family members than in the past, there are some reasons humans find difficulty to communicate with each others like working hours and many others
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses consider that in contemporary era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become more busy in their life
as a result
they have not sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
and dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
as compared to past.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
my perspective I
partially
accord with this statement
therefore
I will elaborate my
Possible spelling mistake found.
piont
of view in upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are number of reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their family members than previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, in earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
as well
as share their feelings with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
technology
is advanced
individuals spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
on internet
instead
of talking with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
and dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. This trends not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase the distance among the masses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
fade the relationship. Moving
further
, due to long hour in working places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
find difficulty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
and even they cannot exchange their emotions with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, after completing job or study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
feel more tired and their energy do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to expense more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
and dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. On the flip side, owing to development in technology which gives more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to stay in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
and dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
apps like Facebook, Instagram and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.
To conclude
, although individuals have more chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with their family members than in the past, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
find difficulty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with each others like working hours and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
others

IELTS essay Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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