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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. kn8n
These days, shopping has become one of the most important things in our daily lives of every person, especially the female. There is a lot of aspects that may grow this hobby to be grown more and more. Such as technology, globalization, and other things. In my opinion, I guess this is a positive way to make the individual focusing more on himself. On the first hand, technology has played a big role in our lives these days. With the help of technology, people have become much more to their stuff. For example, the female as a whole and specifically the girls found themselves too much convenient to the technology tools. Furthermore, With the aid of this one, females starting to have a hobby with the shopping in the malls and found that super excited for them. Consequently, boys and men as a whole found themselves too much convenient with the aid of technology about shopping. On the other hand, globalization also has played a key role to make this world a small village. Globalization helps the factories and industries to become global around the world. Further, this opportunity leads directly to the people's lives and led everything close to them. For instance, individuals from Africa now have the way to purchase whatever they like from Europe's stores. Moreover, the stores around the globe with the support of globalization and technology become much easier for them to export their products outside their own countries. In last, the shopping hobby is a positive trend to make the world multiracial and led this planet to become day after day as a small village. The government, as well as the associations and community, should help with these types of hobbies.
These days, shopping has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of every person,
especially
the female. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
aspects that may grow this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
to
be grown
more and more. Such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, globalization, and other things. In my opinion, I guess this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the individual focusing more on himself.

On the
first
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has played a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
these days. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more to their stuff.
For example
, the female as a whole and
specifically
the girls found themselves too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
convenient to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
tools.
Furthermore
, With the aid of this one, females starting to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
with the shopping in the malls and found that super excited for them.
Consequently
, boys and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
as a whole found themselves too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
convenient with the aid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
about shopping.

On the other hand
, globalization
also
has played a key role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this world a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village. Globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the factories and industries to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
global around the world.
Further
, this opportunity leads
directly
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and led everything close to them.
For instance
, individuals from Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
whatever they like from Europe's stores.
Moreover
, the stores around the globe with the support of globalization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
easier for them to export their products outside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries.

In last, the shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world multiracial and led this planet to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
day after day as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
as well
as the associations and community, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
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IELTS essay In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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