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School should prepare pupils for their future lives and for the world of employment. Learning about history is not necessary and more emphasis should be placed on other school subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

School should prepare pupils for their future lives and for the world of employment. Learning about history is not necessary and more emphasis should be placed on other school subjects. with this opinion? Gybo
Schoolchildren should be prepared for their future ways of life and for world of professions. It has been argued that knowing history is not needful and pupils have to be focused on other subjects in school time. I totally disagree for these two statements because of some reasons. To begin with, I try to explain main assignments of school. In the first place, the aim of school is giving general knowledge through various subjects. Therefore, schoolchildren could learn basic informations for the job but is not necessary strong, special practice. Also, schools prepare pupils to enter university. Then there is no need to go to a tutors. And parents get rid of the extra cost. From my perspective, it has been known that history plays significant role in human life. In the future, to creat better generation schoolchildren should know history. In addiction, as common said that if pupils do not learn history, they will do the same mistakes which our ancestors did in the past. For example, schoolchild want to be investor history is really helpful to avoid big mistakes. In conclusion, according to above reasons, I am completely disagree for these ideas. History is important to be taught in schools and it should not be removed. Not only schools prepare pupils for a job but also teach for entering to university. Razzoqova Halima
Schoolchildren should
be prepared
for their future ways of life and for world of professions. It has
been argued
that knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is not needful and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be focused
on other subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time. I
totally
disagree for these two statements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
main assignments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In the
first
place, the aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is giving general knowledge through various subjects.
Therefore
, schoolchildren could learn basic
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
for the job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is not necessary strong, special practice.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
to enter university. Then there is no need to go to
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a tutor" or simply "tutors"?
a tutors
. And parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the extra cost.

From my perspective, it has
been known
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
plays significant role in human life. In the future, to
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
better generation schoolchildren should know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. In addiction, as common said that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
do not learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, they will do the same mistakes which our ancestors did in the past.
For example
, schoolchild want to be investor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
really
helpful to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
mistakes.

In conclusion
, according to above reasons, I am completely
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
for these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and it should not
be removed
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
for a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teach for entering to university.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Razzoqova
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halima
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IELTS essay School should prepare pupils for their future lives and for the world of employment. Learning about history is not necessary and more emphasis should be placed on other school subjects. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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