Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime.

Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. bdqB
Many people believe that the use of advanced technology can reduced the rate of crime. I believe the use of advanced technology nowadays really helps the police department to catch criminals easily and prevent the other criminals to do the crime. This essay will explain why the use of advanced technology can reduced the rate of criminal case. First, most of criminals are scared to do the crime in front of public if all areas in the city are monitored continuously with security camera (CCTV) by the police officer. In addition citizen can use security camera at their own property to raise their own awareness and report to the police department if they see the suspicious thing in theirs. Second, nowadays most of public area are equipped by a scanner that guarded by security. This technology can scan the stuff that brought by the visitor. It is a really efficient way to reducing the criminal cases in public areas, so the offenders or criminals will not be able to carry any weapon to public area. In addition, most of mall installed Electronic Article Surveillance (EAS) which can detect the stuff that have not paid by the person who take it outside the store. When the unpaid stuff is passes the EAS, then the alarm will ringing. So this technology can make the criminals more scared to steal anything from the store. In conclusion, I personally believe that the use of technology in this era can help in depleting the crime rates because of the raising awareness among the public. However, we still have to care with our own safety.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
nowadays
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the police department to catch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
easily
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
case.

First
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are scared
to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in the city
are monitored
continuously
with security camera (CCTV) by the police officer. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
citizen can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
security camera at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
property to raise their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
awareness and report to the police department if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the suspicious thing in theirs.

Second, nowadays most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
are equipped
by a scanner that guarded by security. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can scan the stuff that brought by the visitor. It is a
really
efficient way to reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
cases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the offenders or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will not be able to carry any weapon to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
In addition
,
Consider using "most mall" or "most of the mall".
most of mall
installed Electronic Article Surveillance (EAS) which can detect the stuff that have not paid by the person who take it outside the store. When the unpaid stuff is passes the EAS, then the alarm will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "ring"
ringing
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
more scared to steal anything from the store.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in this era can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in depleting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the raising awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
However
, we
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
care with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
safety.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts