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Do you agree with the following statement? All high school students should take a course in basic economics.

All high school students should take a course in basic economics. EppVb
Students’ curriculum consists of various type of courses in different fields, which are classified into two group based on their complexity and application. Economy is one of the courses that maybe introduce into students’ curriculum. People around us are divided into two groups. The first one think that students should learn basic knowledge of economy, even thought if it is not beneficial for them, while the second group take the opposite view. Both of these two contradictory ideas have several conceivable reasons. However, from my point of view, I do believe that rudimentary economy course should be eliminated from students’ study plan because of two compelling reason that will be explained in the following paragraphs. First and the foremost reason that I agree with not offering economy course for high school students is that it wastes students’ efficient time. Students at that age are financially depend on their family, and are paid by their parents. Besides, they are not old enough to be able to perform a variety of tasks, which need wisely managing their money. It is true that in the future they will take a job, and maybe this kind of information will be helpful for them at such an occasion in order to manage their money properly, nevertheless they will forget whatever they learn in this course. Because until that time, economic information is impractical for their daily life and they do not benefit from it. For instance, high school students are more keen on learning valuable information such as managing their time to be able to develop their ability and skills. Thus, becoming familiar with matters that are not practical will not satisfy them. The final reason is that it is not useful for them. Since this course is in basic level, students are able to learn them for other resources. Therefore, there is no need to devote class time to teaching this course, and it should be spent on necessary matters such as math, science, psychology, and etc. that directly affect students’ life rather than impractical issue. As an example, I had this course in high school. Whenever my teachers taught this lessons, I have already known the methods and principle of it, now that I had learn them practically during my lifetime. Therefore, this class would not be profitable. However, if that time were putting into teaching efficient matters such as how to handle stress during difficult time, behave appropriately with other people, and perform tasks as a member of group, it would be more reasonable. That is why I do not think that it would be a constructive idea that basic economy course is taught to high school students. In conclusion, based on above mentioned reasons, I firmly believe that elementary economy course does not offer students many advantages. Because not only does it cause losing their time, but also this course is not as efficient as it should be.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students’
curriculum consists of various type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields, which
are classified
into two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
based on their complexity and application.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economy
is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
The verb 'introduce' is plural. Did you mean: "that maybe introduces"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that maybe introduce
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
curriculum.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
around us
are divided
into two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. The
first
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
basic knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
if it is not beneficial for them, while the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
take the opposite view. Both of these two contradictory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
have several conceivable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
However
, from my point of view, I do believe that rudimentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
should
be eliminated
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
study plan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs.

First
and the foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with not offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is that it wastes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
at that age are
financially
depend on their family, and
are paid
by their parents.
Besides
, they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be able to perform a variety of tasks, which need
wisely
managing their money. It is true that in the future they will take a job, and maybe this kind of information will be helpful for them at such an occasion in order to manage their money
properly
,
nevertheless
they will forget whatever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
until that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, economic information is impractical for their daily
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they do not benefit from it.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more keen on learning valuable information such as managing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be able to develop their ability and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Thus
, becoming familiar with matters that are not practical will not satisfy them.

The final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it is not useful for them. Since this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is in basic level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
them for other resources.
Therefore
, there is no need to devote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to teaching this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, and it should
be spent
on necessary matters such as math, science, psychology,
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. that
directly
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
life
rather
than impractical issue. As an example, I had this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Whenever my teachers taught
Did you mean "these"?
this
lessons, I have already known the methods and principle of it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that I had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
them
practically
during my lifetime.
Therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
would not be profitable.
However
, if that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
were putting into teaching efficient matters such as how to handle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
during difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, behave
appropriately
with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and perform tasks as a member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, it would be more reasonable.
That is
why I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would be a constructive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students.

In conclusion
, based on above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I
firmly
believe that elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
does not offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it cause losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is not as efficient as it should be.
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IELTS essay All high school students should take a course in basic economics.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
487 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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