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In the past, people were more inclined towards working in the same organisation for their entire life.

In the past, people were more inclined towards working in the same organisation for their entire life. QK7dP
In the past, people were more inclined towards working in the same organisation for their entire life. Today, different individuals have a different opinion about the work options. Some people prefer working for same company throughout their life, while others believe in switching their companies. On one side, there are a group of people who dedicate their professional life for one corporation only. The main reason for this is stability of job, which can be achieved only by working at the same place for a longer time. Though this will not only allow employees to gain thorough knowledge about the work but also increase the chances of recognitions and promotions. loyalty is still valued by most organizations and people who choose to work in the same office are more likely to receive various promotions and incentives. Therefore, it is apparent that these employees have stable progress in their professional life. On the other side, some people consider that changing their job to promote their career. These people get an opportunity to gather information about various methods used across different organisations. This knowledge will not only help them to grow but also help them to convince them for paying them higher wages, thus, their life will be comfortable. I can say that if you have to switch your job in a higher position in another company you should grab it. To conclude, I would prefer to work for different companies that could give us advantages to build career as well as give us the opportunity to achieve bigger challenges.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were more inclined towards working

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
for their entire life.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
individuals have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
opinion about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
options.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer working for same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
throughout their life,

while others believe in switching their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On one side, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "groups"?
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
who
dedicate their professional life for one corporation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

The main reason for this is stability of job,

which can
be achieved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by working at the same place for a longer time.

“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
employees to gain thorough

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
knowledge
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase the chances of recognitions and promotions.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
loyalty
is
still
valued by most
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations


and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same office are more

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likely
to receive various promotions and incentives.

Therefore
, it is apparent that these employees have stable progress in their professional life.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that changing their

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
job
to promote their career. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
get


an opportunity to gather information about various methods

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
used
across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.

This knowledge will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to grow

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to convince them

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
paying them higher wages,
thus
, their life will be comfortable.

I can say that if you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
switch your job in a higher position in another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
you should grab it.

To conclude
, I would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies


that could give us advantages to build career

as well
as give us the opportunity to achieve bigger

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
challenges
.
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IELTS essay In the past, people were more inclined towards working in the same organisation for their entire life.

Essay
  American English
27 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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