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Today quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions Cause overpopulation, which destroys sanitary and more demand but no supply, exchanging cars.

Today quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions Cause overpopulation, which destroys sanitary and more demand but no supply, exchanging cars. BLmV6
In 21st century, the life in urban areas is becoming worse. From my perspective, the main reason is energy production in metropolitan areas as they mostly rely on oil and coal, which pollute environment and decrease average living age of city people. To tackle this problem, I believe, we need to fasten alternative energy sources, such as, solar and marine energy. City demands huge energy, which is taken from coal and oil, as a result, these two sources, have so much downsides, because they release carbon dioxide and exhausted fumes into atmosphere. Therefore, it poses common challenges to humanity, such as, weakening immune system and calling diseases, which mostly affect to our cardio vascular system and developing passive cancer cells. As an example, China cities began suffering in 2017, artificial poisonous fog surrounded all over the country and has been causing early death rates. Additionally, transportations are also damaging environment adversely. Diesel engine cars burn fossil fuels that is obviously polluting the air. Eco-friendly cars are replacing them but it is happening slowly. Albeit, we have chance to eliminate this obstacle by setting another sources to manufacture pure energy and exchanging petrol and gas transports into electric vehicle. In fact, solar and marine energy are the best option as they are harmless and renewable. Enforcing coal and oil companies to cease their business and encourage using renewable energy. Marine energy is same as wind energy, the difference is former one used under sea and have no damage to sea creatures. In UK around 1900s, scientists tested new devise that can accumulate huge amount of power under the North Sea. Furthermore, Elon Musk CEO of Tesla Company offered a great deal called Solar City program in 2019. I claim that by expanding these projects life of millions in cities will upgrade to new level. In conclusion, these days living in city is risky and uncomfortable due to pollution created by oil and coal and to stop it, energy reproduction should be revised and exchanged.
In 21st century, the life in urban areas is becoming worse. From my perspective, the main reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
production in metropolitan areas as they
mostly
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and coal, which pollute environment and decrease average living age of city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To tackle this problem, I believe, we need to fasten alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources, such as, solar and marine energy.

City demands huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, which
is taken
from coal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
,
as a result
, these two sources, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
downsides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they release carbon dioxide and exhausted fumes into atmosphere.
Therefore
, it poses common challenges to humanity, such as, weakening immune system and calling diseases, which
mostly
affect to our cardio vascular system and developing passive cancer cells. As an example, China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
began suffering in 2017, artificial poisonous fog surrounded all over the country and has been causing early death rates.
Additionally
, transportations are
also
damaging environment
adversely
. Diesel engine cars burn fossil fuels
that is
obviously
polluting the air. Eco-friendly cars are replacing them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is happening
slowly
.

Albeit, we have chance to eliminate this obstacle by setting another sources to manufacture pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and exchanging petrol and gas transports into electric vehicle. In fact, solar and marine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are the best option as they are harmless and renewable. Enforcing coal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to cease their business and encourage using renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. Marine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is same as wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, the difference is former one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
under sea and have no damage to sea creatures. In UK around 1900s, scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
new devise that can accumulate huge amount of power under the North Sea.
Furthermore
, Elon Musk CEO of Tesla
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
offered a great deal called Solar City program in 2019. I claim that by expanding these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "projects'" or "project's"?
projects
life of millions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will upgrade to new level.

In conclusion
, these days living in city is risky and uncomfortable due to pollution created by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and coal and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
reproduction should
be revised
and exchanged.
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IELTS essay Today quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions Cause overpopulation, which destroys sanitary and more demand but no supply, exchanging cars.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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