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IN THE PAST PEOPLE MADE BETTER USE OF THEIR LIFE THEN THEY DO TODAY.DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE ?

IN THE PAST PEOPLE MADE BETTER USE OF THEIR LIFE THEN THEY DO TODAY. PEmog
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is colossal upsurge in the number of people believing that in the past individuals made better use of their life then they do in present. This is a widespread worry that this will merely lead a myriad concerns in one's life. However, I totally believe that this view point is incorrect, and I firmly disagreed with this topic, and I will explain why in this essay. To begin with, Nowadays, there are various activities is available for better use of life such as Gym, Sports club, Yoga classes and so on. Consequently, with the aid of this members can stay their life fit and healthy. For this reason elder persons are still fit as a fiddle, and they all are escape from disease, for while doing exercise our immune system will build more powerful, and we can't get attach from cold or flu. Moreover, there are numerous technology are available, and with the aid of this human's life is very superior, for all the work are happening with machines, Consequently, individuals don't need to work full day, and they can live a better life. In addition, Education are better nowadays as compared to the past, for in present tutors are very wise, and they teach in a extremely brilliant way. However, teachers have a great skills, and with the aid of that students can enhance more skills, and they utilize it in a their academics as well as in business. For example, In this modern era, persons are well educated as well as they also have quite interest in sports, for in schools they also focus on sports, and there are various facilities are available. As we all know recently '' Neeraj Copra" won a gold medal for India in Tokyo Competitions 2020 with the aid of facilities. Although this technology made human's life easy and smooth. Overall, I would like to say that due to this latest contemporary era people are much far better living their life as compared to the past decades. Consequently, I firmly believe that I am totally disagreed this this topic.
One of the most conspicuous trends of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is colossal upsurge in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believing that in the past individuals made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
then they do in present. This is a widespread worry that this will
merely
lead a myriad concerns in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, I
totally
believe that this view point is incorrect, and I
firmly
disagreed with this topic, and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Nowadays, there are various activities is available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as Gym, Sports club, Yoga classes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Consequently
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
members can stay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
fit and healthy.
For this reason
elder persons are
still
fit as a fiddle, and they all are escape from disease, for while doing exercise our immune system will build more powerful, and we can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attach from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
or flu.
Moreover
, there are numerous technology are available, and with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
of this human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
superior, for all the work are happening with machines,
Consequently
, individuals don't need to work full day, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life.

In addition
, Education are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
nowadays as compared to the past, for in present tutors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
wise, and they teach in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extremely
brilliant way.
However
, teachers have a great
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "skill"?
skills
, and with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
of that students can enhance more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and they utilize it in
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their academics" or "a academics"?
a their academics
as well
as in business.
For example
, In this modern era, persons are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
as well
as they
also
have quite interest in sports, for in schools they
also
focus on sports, and there are various facilities are available. As we all know recently ''
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neeraj
Copra
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
won a gold medal for India in Tokyo Competitions 2020 with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
of facilities. Although this technology made human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy and smooth.

Overall
, I would like to say that due to this latest contemporary era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are much far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as compared to the past decades.
Consequently
, I
firmly
believe that I am
totally
disagreed
Possible typo: you repeated a word
this this
topic.
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IELTS essay IN THE PAST PEOPLE MADE BETTER USE OF THEIR LIFE THEN THEY DO TODAY.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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