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In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? e5brp
In various nationalities, the average weight of humans is rising and the levels of health and sport are falling. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why these problems have arisen and some of the measures that can be taken to avoid them. There are several reasons causing people from different countries to get fatter and unhealthy. Firstly nowadays people eat fast food more than healthy homemade food. As fast food is made of too much sugar, oil, etc. humans are getting obese. The other reason is not making sports. Nearly everybody is using public transports due to traveling everywhere. As they are sitting all day in their workplaces and not doing any exercises and after workday sitting and going home their bodies are becoming lazy and not losing any calories. On the other hand, consuming alcohol is disturbing the liver. When the liver is not working well it makes the metabolism slow down. As a result, the body is losing its shape and getting more unhealthy. For solving these problems people may follow several rules. One of them is being careful while choosing what to it. They must prefer more healthy products that contain more protein and fewer cholesterol ingredients such as vegetables, fruits, and boiled meat. The other thing is that they should walk or drive bikes to their destinations. Rather burn their calories that say collected during the time they just sat and ate. The last way is less alcohol drinking. People must limit themselves to a little number of such drinks weekly. In conclusion, many people are having troubles with high weight and health problems. The things that cause these problems are mostly unhealthy lifestyles and there are many solutions people could do to fix the problems. They should prefer healthy food and drinks and do more exercise daily.
In various nationalities, the average weight of humans is rising and the levels of health and sport are falling. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have arisen and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
measures that can
be taken
to avoid them.

There are several reasons causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fatter and unhealthy.
Firstly
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more than healthy homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is made
of too much sugar, oil, etc. humans are getting obese. The other reason is not making sports.
Nearly
everybody is using public transports due to traveling everywhere. As they are sitting all day in their workplaces and not doing any exercises and after workday sitting and going home their bodies are becoming lazy and not losing any calories.
On the other hand
, consuming alcohol is disturbing the liver.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
the liver is not working well it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the metabolism slow down.
As a result
, the body is losing its shape and getting more unhealthy.

For solving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may follow several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. One of them is being careful while choosing what to it. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prefer more healthy products that contain more protein and fewer cholesterol ingredients such as vegetables, fruits, and boiled meat. The other thing is that they should walk or drive bikes to their destinations.
Rather
burn their calories that say collected during the time they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sat and ate. The last way is less alcohol drinking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
limit themselves to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
number of such drinks weekly.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having troubles with high weight and health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The things that cause these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
mostly
unhealthy lifestyles and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. They should prefer healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drinks and do more exercise daily.
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IELTS essay In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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