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In the past, lecturers were used as a way of teaching large numbers of students, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending lectures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this v.1

In the past, lecturers were used as a way of teaching large numbers of students, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending lectures. with this v. 1
It is undoubtedly that learning a foreign language is essential for children. However, educational institutions should not force the student to learn it. I share a similar point of view with this statement with the reasons stated below. To begin with, pushing the youngsters to learn the second language in the school is not an ideal method to improve their language ability due to the fact there is a shortage number of competent teachers to deliver this knowledge. In Indonesia, for instance, just a small number of English subject in the school is taught by subject specialist teachers. This affects the teaching methods and materials used in the classroom and the tutors are unable to stimulate language-learning activities resulting in the pupils becoming passive participants. Consequently, this process is waste time without significant benefit to the student. Furthermore, the school curriculum consists of various fundamental subjects such as math, science and social sciences in which they are compulsory subjects. The curriculum grade 6 of the elementary school in Indonesia, for example, has at least 6 or 7 mandatory subjects and minimum 3 additional subjects. This is a heavy burden for the youngster and by obligating them to acquire the second language may cause overpressure leading to a declining of academic performance. To sum up, although, it is admittedly that foreign language is beneficial for children in many ways, I, convinced that the educational institutions should not compel the student to learn the second language because there is a limited number of competent human resources to transfer this knowledge and a complicated curriculum system the school.
It is
undoubtedly
that learning a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is essential for children.
However
, educational institutions should not force the student to learn it. I share a similar point of view with this statement with the reasons stated below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, pushing the youngsters to learn the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not an ideal method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
ability due to the fact there is a shortage number of competent teachers to deliver this knowledge. In Indonesia,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is taught
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
specialist teachers. This affects the teaching methods and materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the classroom and the tutors are unable to stimulate language-learning activities resulting in the pupils becoming passive participants.
Consequently
, this process is waste time without significant benefit to the student.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum consists of various fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as math, science and social sciences in which they are compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. The curriculum grade 6 of the elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Indonesia,
for example
, has at least 6 or 7 mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and minimum 3 additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. This is a heavy burden for the youngster and by obligating them to acquire the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
may cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
overpressure
leading to a declining of academic performance.

To sum up, although, it is
admittedly
that foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is beneficial for children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, I, convinced that the educational institutions should not compel the student to learn the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a limited number of competent human resources to transfer this knowledge and a complicated curriculum system the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past, lecturers were used as a way of teaching large numbers of students, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending lectures. with this v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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