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In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? AjJG1
Nowadays, the Internet creates a lot of ways to provide knowledge. As well as it converts people's reading habits through providing online information. However, physical contain, which is more easily handled than online, are provided by a book. I shall analyse the pros and cons before citing my opinion. On the one hand, the main benefit that ensures because of knowledge from the Internet appears to be quite promising. First of all, I say that information is stored easily on the Internet with limitless and access at anywhere at any time. By this, I mean that on the Internet we can save our data on our cloud and access by any electronic gadgets, like mobile computer tablet. Second of all, I argue that sometimes the author provides information free of cost or cheap price online because, without printing, he also save money. On the other hand, the negative ramifications that may entail because of knowledge from books can not be neglected. First, I argue that without electricity, we can use and transfer data by book, In other words, written sources that are more helpful to the coastal village, which is not fulfilled with electricity, are those which are in the form of return text. Secondly, I say that the knowledge store in Books is less risky than online because with the improvement in technology there is always a fear of hackers and glitch. I concede that the Books did not only useful for storing information in the part. However, I think that the Internet is the new option for uploading contains. Therefore by both Internet and books access the knowledge easily. In conclusion from the aforementioned points, it is aptly clear that the advantage of knowledge from the Internet outweighs the advantage of others.
Nowadays, the Internet creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ways to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
As well
as it converts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's reading habits through providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
However
, physical contain, which is more
easily
handled than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
are provided
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. I shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
citing my opinion.

On the one hand, the main benefit that ensures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from the Internet appears to be quite promising.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is stored
easily
on the Internet with limitless and access at anywhere at any time. By this, I mean that on the Internet we can save our data on our cloud and access by any electronic gadgets, like mobile computer tablet. Second of all, I argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the author provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
free of cost or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, without printing, he
also
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "saves", "saved".
save
money.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ramifications that may entail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can not
be neglected
.
First
, I argue that without electricity, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and transfer data by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
,
In other words
, written sources that are more helpful to the coastal village, which is not fulfilled with electricity, are those which are in the form of return text.
Secondly
, I say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
store in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
is less risky than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the improvement in technology there is always a fear of hackers and glitch.

I concede that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
useful for storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the part.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the Internet is the new option for uploading contains.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
by both Internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
easily
.

In conclusion
from the aforementioned points, it is
aptly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from the Internet outweighs the advantage of others.
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IELTS essay In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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