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Attend a parenting training is one of the ways to improve parenting quality in families. In fact, every child needs a suitable role of parenting in them. I agree that this is a beneficial step for each parent, especially the newlywed one.

Attend a parenting training is one of the ways to improve parenting quality in families. In fact, every child needs a suitable role of parenting in them. I agree that this is a beneficial step for each parent, especially the newlywed one. oRbOV
Attend a parenting training is one of the ways to improve parenting quality in families. In fact, every child needs a suitable role of parenting in them. I agree that this is a beneficial step for each parent, especially the newlywed one. Firstly, it is quite a risk for an amateur who lacks of parenting knowledge to bring up a kid. In fact, there are some basic skills needed to master by the parents, such as the way to carry the baby, change the diaper, calm the crying baby, and more. For instance, imagine someone who was just newlywed and doesn’t attend a parenting training, she would not know what does the baby need at that time, how to face the baby who nonstop crying because the need is not fulfilled, even worse, the wrong way on pick the baby up might injure the baby itself. On the other hand, there are a lot of details when it comes to bringing up children. For example, like what equipment needed to raise a baby, a certain sign showing what baby needs at the moment (It might be pee, milk, or eat). Also, how to breastfeeding the baby is actually important. Those are some details that you will get from attending a parenting guide course. The knowledge will allow us to bring up the child easier and confidently, so it might not turn into confusion about what is right and what is not supposed to do. In conclusion, joining a course for raising the baby might deem trivial, but it is highly recommended for newlywed. Action on how to take care of the kid is allowed after the knowledge of how to. In addition, it is needed to prevent the dangerous thing that might happen.
Attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training is one of the ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
quality in families. In fact, every child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
a suitable role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
in them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is a beneficial step for each parent,
especially
the newlywed one.

Firstly
, it is quite a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for an amateur who lacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
knowledge to bring up a kid. In fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed to master by the parents, such as the way to carry the baby,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the diaper, calm the crying baby, and more.
For instance
, imagine someone who was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
newlywed and doesn’t attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training, she would not know what does the baby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
at that time, how to face the baby who nonstop crying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is not fulfilled, even worse, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way on pick the baby up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
injure the baby itself.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to bringing up children.
For example
, like what equipment needed to raise a baby, a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
showing what baby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
at the moment (It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be pee, milk, or eat).
Also
, how to breastfeeding the baby is actually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Those are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
guide course. The knowledge will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to bring up the child easier and
confidently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not turn into confusion about what is right and what is not supposed to do.

In conclusion
, joining a course for raising the baby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
deem trivial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
highly
recommended for newlywed. Action on how to take care of the kid is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
after the knowledge of how to.
In addition
, it
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
thing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
happen.
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IELTS essay Attend a parenting training is one of the ways to improve parenting quality in families. In fact, every child needs a suitable role of parenting in them. I agree that this is a beneficial step for each parent, especially the newlywed one.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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