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Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. kYxOe
Youths are more prone to mishaps when they are given the liberty to drive at the age of eighteen onwards. The legal age of driving in almost every country around the world is fixed at 18 years of age. It is argued that this age limit should be increased to twenty two years. This essay will discuss the key points why the legal age should be determined as twenty two years. When a teenager reaches the age of eighteen, it is considered as a milestone in his/her lifetime. This is because they will be considered as an adult by the world. Eighteen years is a vulnerable age where adolescents are transitioning into youth and they are not much experienced. Although, some adolescents have the right mindset some will have the intuitive mindset. They just wait for this age to get their driving license. Once on the road, their adrenaline gets pumped and sometimes lose control of the surroundings. Youths also like to drive the car, ignoring the speed limits. They like to challenge and break rules which end up in accidents most of the times endangering others lives. On raising the age limit to twenty two years, let's reciprocate that they will have acquired a sense of responsibility. They might start thinking about the welfare of others too. It is widely observed that youth at this age might have acquired some kind of control and would like to abide by the rules. The repugnant attitude changes to a concerned behaviour by this age due the experiences they might have encountered in life. For instance, in UAE the legal driving age was increased from eighteen years to twenty two years and it was analysed in 5 years that speeding and drunken driving accidents were reduced widely. To summarise, it is an undeniable fact that as humans age maturity and self-control is immensely acquired because of the life experiences they encounter. Therefore, increasing the legal driving age limit to twenty two years will always outweigh the merits and will not backfire.
Youths are more prone to mishaps when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the liberty to drive at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of eighteen onwards. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
in almost every country around the world is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
at 18 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. It
is argued
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
should
be increased
to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty two
years. This essay will discuss the key points why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
should
be determined
as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty two
years.

When a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
reaches the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of eighteen, it
is considered
as a milestone in his/her lifetime. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be considered
as an adult by the world. Eighteen years is a vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
where adolescents are transitioning into
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youth and
they are not much experienced.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adolescents have the right mindset
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
will have the intuitive mindset. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wait for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license. Once on the road, their adrenaline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
pumped and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lose control of the surroundings. Youths
also
like to drive the car, ignoring the speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
. They like to challenge and break
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in accidents
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
endangering others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty two
years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's reciprocate that they will have acquired a sense of responsibility. They might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking about the welfare of others too. It is
widely
observed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
might have acquired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of control and would like to abide by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. The repugnant attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to a concerned
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
due the experiences they might have encountered in life.
For instance
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the UAE".
in UAE
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
was increased
from eighteen years to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty two
years and it was
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in 5 years that speeding and drunken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
accidents were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
widely
.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it is an undeniable fact that as humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
maturity and self-control is
immensely
acquired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the life experiences they encounter.
Therefore
, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty two
years will always outweigh the merits and will not backfire.

IELTS essay Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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