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life today is easier or 50 years ago?

life today is easier or 50 years ago? m1Dj8
Although life, when our grandparents were children, was healthier and less stressful, some people believe that life today has better expectancy and more advanced. In my point of view, life today is way easier and better than before, due to we have access to better healthcare, more technology, and safer transportation. Firstly, when my grandparents were children the healthcare system was primitive. Not only because, the number of hospitals were limited, but also lots for medical devices have not been inenvted yet. In the last 50 years scientists made major advances that have revolutionized healthcare. For example, in 1960 saw the development of the first artificial heart, and surgeons attempted the first human liver and heart transportation. Consequently, the improvement that occurred in the medical filed increase the access to care and improve the quality of life. Next, in the past the world was so different. Given that the technological invention such as internet, world has reduced to a global village. In Europe, statistic shows the people all over the world can communicate 70% easier and quicker than before. Moreover, internet is very important for education; coupled with opening doorways to a wealth of information, opportunity to learm beyond the classroom internet improves the quality of education. Therefore, technology made our life more convenient and enjoyable than my grandparents’ life. Finally, transportation is safer and faster now than it was when my grandparents were children. Study done by American National transportation Association found that public transportation has been improved in the last 40 years. In addition to that cars now have lots of options makes them more luxury and convenient. As a result, life today is more interesting than before. Taking everything into a consideration, without a doubt life today is easier than it was when my grandparents were children, it is suggested that
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, when our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, was healthier and less stressful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
has better expectancy and more advanced. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
is way easier and better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, due to we have access to better healthcare, more technology, and safer transportation.

Firstly
, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the healthcare system was primitive. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the number of hospitals
were limited
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lots for medical devices have not been
Possible spelling mistake found.
inenvted
yet
. In the last 50 years scientists made major advances that have revolutionized healthcare.
For example
, in 1960
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the development of the
first
artificial heart, and surgeons attempted the
first
human liver and heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
Consequently
, the improvement that occurred in the medical filed increase the access to care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life.

Next
, in the past the world was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that the technological invention such as internet, world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a global village. In Europe, statistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world can communicate 70% easier and quicker than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
, internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for education; coupled with opening doorways to a wealth of information, opportunity to
Possible spelling mistake found.
learm
beyond the classroom internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of education.
Therefore
, technology made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more convenient and enjoyable than my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents’
life.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is safer and faster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than it was when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Study done by American National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
Association found that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in the last 40 years.
In addition
to that cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have lots of options
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more luxury and convenient.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
is more interesting than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Taking everything into a consideration, without a doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
is easier than it was when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it
is suggested
that
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IELTS essay life today is easier or 50 years ago?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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