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In the old days, almost employee went to factory or office that they could work there. Conversely, in the modern days, people likely tend to complete their tasks in their own home which thanks to rapid developments of technology. In this essay, i will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this new trend

In the old days, almost employee went to factory or office that they could work there. Conversely, in the modern days, people likely tend to complete their tasks in their own home which thanks to rapid developments of technology. In this essay, i will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this new trend YR2Rm
In the old days, almost employee went to factory or office that they could work there. Conversely, in the modern days, people likely tend to complete their tasks in their own home which thanks to rapid developments of technology. In this essay, i will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this new trend On the one hand, people working at home unlikely concentrate on tasks. That reason why workers go to plants that they can work effectively is that manager checks them every single hour. Manager of workplace makes sure all processes on schedule and helps employees iron out problem, therefore, company can gain more profit. Furthermore, working at home is boring because human being is social animal. Employees do not have a chance to meet their co-wokers directly that leads they have mental disorders such as depression, long-lasting anxiety and other mood disorders. For example, during Covid-19 pandemic, working at home increase significantly rate as to mental health issue. On the other hand, people will have a large of leisure time if they work in their private house which means that traveling by car or train is now time-comsuming. Therefore, employees spend free time taking care of their own family or doing what they have interest such as going to gym, going shopping and so on. Not only do they have more free time but they also have comfortable environment. In fact, working at home gets rid of strict surveillances from manager, cameras that make staff feel cramped. Hence, staff has a benefit from that so he or she can release creative power to utilise all reources which creates a good products. That helps company compete against its rivals For the reason mentioned above, in my opinion, I feel that overall the advantages would outweigh the disadvantages. Working at home helps employees have more free time and comfortable environment.
In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
went to factory or office that they could work there.
Conversely
, in the modern days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
likely tend to complete their tasks in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home which thanks to rapid developments of technology. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this new trend

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home unlikely concentrate on tasks. That reason why workers go to plants that they can work
effectively
is that manager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
them every single hour. Manager of workplace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure all processes on schedule and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
iron out problem,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can gain more profit.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home is boring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human being is social animal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employees
do not have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
co-wokers
directly
that leads they have mental disorders such as depression, long-lasting anxiety and other mood disorders.
For example
, during Covid-19 pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home increase
significantly
rate as to mental health issue.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have a large of leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
if they work in their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which means that traveling by car or train is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Possible spelling mistake found.
time-comsuming
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
spend free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
taking care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family or doing what they have interest such as going to gym, going shopping and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they have more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
have comfortable environment. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
rid of strict
Possible spelling mistake found.
surveillances
from manager, cameras that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
staff feel cramped.
Hence
, staff has a benefit from that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he or she can release creative power to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
all
Possible spelling mistake found.
reources
which creates a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "product"?
products
. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
compete against its rivals

For the reason mentioned above, in my opinion, I feel that
overall
the advantages would outweigh the disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and comfortable environment.
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IELTS essay In the old days, almost employee went to factory or office that they could work there. Conversely, in the modern days, people likely tend to complete their tasks in their own home which thanks to rapid developments of technology. In this essay, i will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this new trend

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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