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In the modern world, the image (photograph or film) is becoming a more powerful way of communicating than the written word. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.2

In the modern world, the image (photograph or film) is becoming a more powerful way of communicating than the written word. v. 2
In the modern society, communicating with advanced technology such as image has replaced with communicating with verbal form. I personally agree with this phenomenon that photo and film are a more expressive way to communicate than written word with some reasons, which I will explain below. First and foremost, it would seem that the written word cannot be avoided to communicate the information or to share the knowledge. Firstly, the written form may able to be the evidence of formal reference and agreement in many sectors such as academic and business. If it is used, written communication can become the future reference. Furthermore, the written communication, such as letter, may be more polite to communicate something with relation and supervisor at the office. However, we should consider that that visual communication would be the more effective way for many kinds of people, particularly illiterate. This demonstrates that illiterate would be easier to understand the information that is presented visually owing to graphs, diagrams, and pictures complex information, figures and data. The second probable benefit of the image is related to time used for communication. Photo and film would assist to prevent the wastage of time since written communication takes quite a lot of time to exchange knowledge and information. The last possible advantage is that the image may be more interesting for many people than the written. The reason often given is that the image has many colors and forms to express its meaning. In summary it is logical to conclude that the visual communication, such the image, offer the effective way to communicate between people (especially illiterate), the reduction of time consuming, and also the fascinating method to exchange the information. This is provided that we use the written word to communicate each other, when we are in formal situation.
In the modern society, communicating with advanced technology such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
has replaced with communicating with verbal form. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this phenomenon that photo and film are a more expressive way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
word with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
below.

First
and foremost, it would seem that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
word cannot
be avoided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or to share the knowledge.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
form
Did you mean "may be able"?
may able
to be the evidence of formal reference and agreement in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors such as academic and business. If it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
can become the future reference.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, such as letter, may be more polite to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
something with relation and supervisor at the office.

However
, we should consider that that visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
would be the more effective way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
particularly
illiterate. This demonstrates that illiterate would be easier to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that
is presented
visually
owing to graphs, diagrams, and pictures complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, figures and data. The second probable benefit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Photo and film would assist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
takes quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to exchange knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. The last possible advantage is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
may be more interesting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
. The reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colors and forms to express its meaning.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "summary, it".
summary it
is logical
to conclude
that the visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, such the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
, offer the effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(
especially
illiterate), the reduction of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
, and
also
the fascinating method to exchange the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. This
is provided
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
word to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
each other, when we are in formal situation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world, the image (photograph or film) is becoming a more powerful way of communicating than the written word. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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