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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Gm1m
It is true that for some people, spending time in a shopping mall is not only for shopping but also for relaxation. Nowadays we can do a lot of activities in the shops. While agreeing that this trend is gaining more and more popularity, I believe that entertainment is not the primary reasons for going to the mall. Currently, most people enjoy shopping online but it is not convenient and give more time. Because you have to wait for delivery for several days and sometimes goods are not what you want. If people have done their shopping online, the mall will have to extend other facilities to attact visitors. Some malls already have cinemas and places to eat. The restaurants foods of there are very cheaper then other restaurants and make faster than other foods. I believe this trend will continue. In addition, malls will offer all kinds of leisure facilities such as gyms, swimming pools, children's play areas and so on. And this cause that the young generation tends to forget the beauty of nature and the stress relief provided by the outdoor world. Besides, due to the excessive affection towards shopping, many people become shopaholics and get into debt. In conclusion, people should not spend their leisure time in shopping malls as there are better alternatives. It is hoped that people will go to shopping mall to do essential shopping but spend their free time outdoors to enjoy the beauty of nature and take part in open-air activities.
It is true that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for relaxation. Nowadays we can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
activities in the shops. While agreeing that this trend is gaining more and more popularity, I believe that entertainment is not the primary reasons for going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
.
Currently
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not convenient and give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for delivery for several days and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are not what you want. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have done their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
online, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
extend other facilities to
Possible spelling mistake found.
attact
visitors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
already have cinemas and places to eat. The restaurants foods of there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "cheaper than"?
cheaper then
other restaurants and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
faster than other foods. I believe this trend will continue.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
will offer all kinds of leisure facilities such as gyms, swimming pools, children's play areas and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And this cause that the young generation tends to forget the beauty of nature and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relief provided by the outdoor world.
Besides
, due to the excessive affection towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become shopaholics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into debt.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
as there are better alternatives. It
is hoped
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
to do essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
outdoors to enjoy the beauty of nature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in open-air activities.
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IELTS essay In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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