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some people prefer to go to health care and gym for health care but some some say that walking and clamping more effect discuss both views and give your opinion

some people prefer to go to health care and gym for health care but some some say that walking and clamping more effect discuss both views and give your opinion ygeMM
health is the most important thing to spend our life very easily this essay say that nowadays most of public like to join a health club and gym for maintain their health and others say that some people like to do walking and any baisic exercises. I personally deem that doing the baisic exercises is much better thing rather than preferring health concert and gym. I discuss many things about these both views in farther paragraphs. To commencing with farmar point of the first view that, in the present time today's people choose the gym and many kinds of energetic meals and drinks to maintain their fitness and health because they always be a very busy in their hustle and bustle life. secondly today's youngster are inspired by many filmstars and they want to show look like them. therfore teenegers perfer this way to go gym for their health. To commencing with other view that, many people believe that rather than doing gym we should prefer to do basic exercises like walking, running. Firstly i personally believe that we do not need to doing gym and any proteins medicine because in village area people are not do any gym and any facility to maintain their body. they always do hard work and unknowingly they do all basic exercise and they easily could maintain their health. To cunclued with, now a day many people prefer to gym and etc and I think they are wasting their money but I believe that we should always do hard work and basic activities. and it is fact fact that we can maintain our health in very easy way because of this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
health
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to spend our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
this essay say that nowadays most of public like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
club and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go walking".
do walking
and any
Possible spelling mistake found.
baisic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. I
personally
deem that doing the
Possible spelling mistake found.
baisic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
is much better thing
rather
than preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
concert and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
. I discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things about these both views in farther paragraphs. To commencing with
Possible spelling mistake found.
farmar
point of the
first
view that, in the present time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of energetic meals and drinks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
their fitness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'be'.
always be
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy in their hustle and bustle life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's youngster
are inspired
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
filmstars and
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
look like them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therfore
Possible spelling mistake found.
teenegers
Possible spelling mistake found.
perfer
this way to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
for their health.

To commencing with other view that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
rather
than doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
we should prefer to do basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
like walking, running.
Firstly
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
believe that we do not need to doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and any
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "proteins'" or "protein's"?
proteins
medicine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in village area
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and any facility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
their body.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
always do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and
unknowingly
they do all basic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exercise and
they
easily
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
cunclued
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are wasting their money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that we should always do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and basic activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
it is
Possible typo: you repeated a word
fact fact
that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy way
because of this
.
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IELTS essay some people prefer to go to health care and gym for health care but some some say that walking and clamping more effect discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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