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in the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will ne for entertainment, not to shop.Do you agree or disagree?

in the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will ne for entertainment, not to shop. 0Al55
Over the past decade, online shopping has been become the most popular way to Purchase, Which considered the main threat for shopping malls. However, The shopping centers not only haven’t dropped in popularity but also they have been developed much more than before. In fact, i’m totally agree with this opinion and i’ve found it as different demand of market not as a real competitiveness. Indeed, online retailer websites like eBay and AMAZON make the shopping process much easier and faster, Even so there are still the people who prefer to attend shopping, Trying on the clothes, watching fabrics closely or giving advice from knowledgeable sells persons. In addition to this, purchasing malls have changed into the place that people can hanging out and spending their free time and socialize with others, Due to this fact, shopping malls have been expanded much more than before and the entertainment facilities like cinemas, bowling alleys, amusement parks and plenty of cafe’s and chain restaurants have been added to malls. So, If the customers prefer to online shopping more, they will definitely attract and this sort of entertaining facilities. In my point of view, its the main purpose and strategy of the malls against the online retailers website. In conclusion, I strongly believe that, this trend will continuously develop and shopping centers will stay popular as before, Beside online shopping websites won’t be considered a threaten for shopping malls due to their different supplies and usability.
Over the past decade,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
been become
the most popular way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Purchase
, Which considered the main threat for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls.

However
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
haven’t dropped in popularity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they have
been developed
much more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

In fact,
Did you mean "I’m"?
i’m
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this opinion and
Did you mean "I’ve"?
i’ve
found it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
demand of market not as a real competitiveness.

Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
retailer websites like eBay and AMAZON
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
process much easier and faster, Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are
still
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who prefer to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, Trying on the clothes, watching fabrics
closely
or giving advice from knowledgeable sells persons.

In addition
to this, purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
into the place that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can hanging out and spending their free time and socialize with others, Due to this fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have
been expanded
much more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and the entertainment facilities like cinemas, bowling alleys, amusement parks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
’s and chain restaurants have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, If the customers prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
more, they will definitely attract and this sort of entertaining facilities.

In my point of view,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
the main purpose and strategy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "retailers'" or "retailer's"?
retailers
website.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that, this trend will
continuously
develop and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers will stay popular as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, Beside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites won’t
be considered
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'threaten' is correct. If 'threaten' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a threaten
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
due to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
supplies and usability.
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IELTS essay in the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will ne for entertainment, not to shop.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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