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Over the recent years, listening to music has been playing the dominant role on the daily life of young people rather than listening to news on the radio. While this has several drawbacks, I belive that it is an overall positive trend. On the one hand, there are some disadvantages listening to music. Firstly, these days, different types of songs are created, and some of them have a sizeable following. So, it is becoming more popular among young people to listen those songs at work or educational places as opposed to working effectively or reading books respectively. Moreover, many young people are used to listening to to songs a lot contrast to listening to news. Therefore, currently, some of them have not got any information about the news of their own country. On the other hand, it is advantegous to listen to music for us. First of all, these days, many young people are interested in learning foreign languages. So, if they listen to songs which are in foreign language, t

Over the recent years, listening to music has been playing the dominant role on the daily life of young people rather than listening to news on the radio. While this has several drawbacks, I belive that it is an overall positive trend. On the one hand, there are some disadvantages listening to music. Firstly, these days, different types of songs are created, and some of them have a sizeable following. So, it is becoming more popular among young people to listen those songs at work or educational places as opposed to working effectively or reading books respectively. Moreover, many young people are used to listening to to songs a lot contrast to listening to news. Therefore, currently, some of them have not got any information about the news of their own country. On the other hand, it is advantegous to listen to music for us. First of all, these days, many young people are interested in learning foreign languages. So, if they listen to songs which are in foreign language, t 2baY6
Over the recent years, listening to music has been playing the dominant role on the daily life of young people rather than listening to news on the radio. While this has several drawbacks, I belive that it is an overall positive trend. On the one hand, there are some disadvantages listening to music. Firstly, these days, different types of songs are created, and some of them have a sizeable following. So, it is becoming more popular among young people to listen those songs at work or educational places as opposed to working effectively or reading books respectively. Moreover, many young people are used to listening to to songs a lot contrast to listening to news. Therefore, currently, some of them have not got any information about the news of their own country. On the other hand, it is advantegous to listen to music for us. First of all, these days, many young people are interested in learning foreign languages. So, if they listen to songs which are in foreign language, they begin to understand that language or they can learn how to speak in it. Second of all, people can have a rest when they get some tired from their work or study. And also, people may soothe their stress via listening to various types of songs. Take me as an example, I seldom feel bad, and I would not like to communicate anybody. However, I do like listening to music, and in this way I can reduce my stress. In conclusion, although listening to music rather than listening to news may have some disadvantages, I firmly hold the view that the advantages are more significant.
Over the recent years, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has been playing the dominant role on the daily life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the radio. While this has several drawbacks,
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
that it is an
overall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Firstly
, these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of songs
are created
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them have a sizeable following.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is becoming more popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to listen those songs at work or educational places as opposed to working
effectively
or reading books
respectively
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to listening
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
songs
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of contrast"?
a lot contrast
to listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Therefore
,
currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
any information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

On the other hand
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantegous
to listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for us.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in learning foreign languages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if they listen to songs which are in foreign language, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to understand that
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
language or
they can learn how to speak in it. Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have a rest when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tired from their work or study. And
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may soothe their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
via listening to various types of songs. Take me as an example, I seldom feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, and I would not like to communicate anybody.
However
, I do like listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and in this way I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In conclusion
, although listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
rather
than listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I
firmly
hold the view that the advantages are more significant.
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IELTS essay Over the recent years, listening to music has been playing the dominant role on the daily life of young people rather than listening to news on the radio. While this has several drawbacks, I belive that it is an overall positive trend. On the one hand, there are some disadvantages listening to music. Firstly, these days, different types of songs are created, and some of them have a sizeable following. So, it is becoming more popular among young people to listen those songs at work or educational places as opposed to working effectively or reading books respectively. Moreover, many young people are used to listening to to songs a lot contrast to listening to news. Therefore, currently, some of them have not got any information about the news of their own country. On the other hand, it is advantegous to listen to music for us. First of all, these days, many young people are interested in learning foreign languages. So, if they listen to songs which are in foreign language, t

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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