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1. Some students who perform badly at school go on to have very successful lives as adults. What qualities are needed to do well at school? Are these the same qualities that help people succeed later in life?

1. Some students who perform badly at school go on to have very successful lives as adults. What qualities are needed to do well at school? Are these the same qualities that help people succeed later in life? BJgGm
Some adults live great and successful lives even though they struggled in their studies at school. Success in school mainly depends on the students’ abilities to be committed to their studies, while individuals can succeed in life if they chose the right career for them. On the one hand, students who excel in their studies must be committed and willing to sacrifice their free time for the sake of obtaining high grades. Succeeding in school requires the ability to comprehend and memorize a lot of subjects even if the student does not like the subject. Not everyone has this skill as students prefer entertaining themselves to studying and, therefore, few students can apply themselves to their studies. The families in which children grow often play a key role in determining their success at school. For instance, students in China are taught the importance of achieving high grades by their strict parents and, thus, they force themselves to study hard no matter how tired they are. On the other hand, achieving success in life require determination and choosing the correct career choice. Some students cannot do well at school because they do not like all the subjects they are taking and, consequently, cannot force themselves to study them. This does not mean that they will fail as adults since they might be talented in a specific field. This can be exemplified by people who become successful engineers and live great lives even though they did not do well at school. Furthermore, soft skills are also required to achieve success in life. In other words, people who have leadership qualities and teamwork skills have higher chances to succeed since they are valuable to any company. In conclusion, students who perform poorly at school can become successful adults by choosing the careers that they are passionate about and acquiring soft skills that make them invaluable employees in any organization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
adults
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live
great and successful
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lives
even though
they struggled in their
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studies
at
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school
.
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Success
in
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school
mainly
depends on the
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students’
abilities to
be committed
to their
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studies
, while individuals can succeed in life if they chose the right career for them.

On the one hand,
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students
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who
excel in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be committed
and willing to sacrifice their free time for the sake of obtaining high grades. Succeeding in
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school
requires the ability to comprehend and memorize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
subjects even if the
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student
does not like the subject. Not everyone has this
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skill
as
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students
prefer entertaining themselves to studying and,
therefore
, few
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students
can apply themselves to their
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studies
. The families in which children grow
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often
play a key role in determining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
at
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school
.
For instance
,
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students
in China
are taught
the importance of achieving high grades by their strict parents and,
thus
, they force themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
no matter how tired they are.

On the other hand
, achieving
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success
in life require determination and choosing the correct career choice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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students
cannot do well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not like all the subjects they are taking and,
consequently
, cannot force themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
them. This does not mean that they will fail as adults since they might
be talented
in a specific field. This can
be exemplified
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
become successful engineers and
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live
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
even though
they did not do well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Furthermore
, soft
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skills
are
also
required to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in life.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have leadership qualities and teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
have higher chances to succeed since they are valuable to any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
perform
poorly
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can become successful adults by choosing the careers that they are passionate about and acquiring soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them invaluable employees in any organization.
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IELTS essay 1. Some students who perform badly at school go on to have very successful lives as adults. What qualities are needed to do well at school? Are these the same qualities that help people succeed later in life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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