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In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.

In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice. doqjr
I believe that it is better to study at traditional schools than at home. In my opinion one can get much more from having social interaction, which can help you not just professionally but also mentally. I can learn a lot if I study alone at home, but I can learn even more if I study at school with other people. I can gain a lot of information from other people. I also learn a lot by interacting with them. At home I have no one to talk to, no one who can hear my ideas. At school I get an opportunity to interact with people. We can share ours ideas and explain them to each other. We can agree or disagree, and so develop them and even understand new ones. All those increase my knowledge. Furthermore, at school there are more ways of getting information. I can obviously use technology both at home and at school, but at school I am exposed to other resources such as teachers, classmates and books. I also can get hand on experience with things I simply do not have at MY home. Competition motivates me. When I am at home nobody sees my work. Nobody can tell me that I did a good or a bad job. When I am at school I have my teacher to criticize me and my classmate to compare with. I want my job to be as good as theirs, or even better. So I try and learn harder. Some people can easily learn alone at home, when others, like me, prefer company and social life. I learn more and harder when I am with others. I have the possibility to gain more information. I have the opportunity to develop my ideas. Last but not least, I have the motivation to do a better job. Therefore, school is the best place for me.
I believe that it is better to study at traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
than at home. In my opinion one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much more from having social interaction, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
professionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mentally.

I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a lot if I study alone at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
even more if I study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a lot by interacting with them. At
The comma is probably missing here: "home, I".
home I
have no one to talk to, no one who can hear my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. At
The comma is probably missing here: "school, I".
school I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We can share ours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
them to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
develop them and even understand new ones. All those increase my knowledge.

Furthermore
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
there are more ways of getting information. I can
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology both at home and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
I
am exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
resources such as teachers, classmates and books. I
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hand on experience with things I
simply
do not have at MY home.

Competition motivates me.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I am at home nobody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
my work. Nobody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me that I did a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
job. When I am at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
I have my teacher to criticize me and my classmate to compare with. I want my job to be as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as theirs, or even better.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
harder.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
alone at home, when others, like me, prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and social life. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more and harder when I am with others. I have the possibility to gain more information.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have the opportunity to develop my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I have the motivation to do a better job.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place for me.
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IELTS essay In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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