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In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Traveling and exploring the places has always been a desire of humans. It is believed by many people that in coming years people will choose their own country over international destination. I completely disagree with this notion that foreign tourism flourish due to numerous reasons which will be discussed further in this essay. To begin with, people with disposal income will never think to spend their money in foreign tour. In other words, people like who lived in plains area will always like to visit mountain, hills and beaches. on the other side, people who lives in colder area will like to explore warmer places. For instance, based on the recent survey result from the tourist committee, seventy percent of people wants to go foreign places like Thailand, Indonesia etc. It shows people never stop to explore other countries on their holiday. Secondly, most of the people travel to explore the new culture of other country. To add on, they visit other foreign country to gain knowledge of culture, cuisines, people and places. For example, according to recent survey, thirty percent of tourist people travel to other country to learn the new culture values and gain much knowledge about the places. To conclude, I strongly believe that holiday-goers will travel and explore to the international locations once the world recovers from the COVID 19 pandemic situation.
Traveling and exploring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
has always been a desire of humans. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that in coming years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
over international destination. I completely disagree with this notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
tourism flourish due to numerous reasons which will
be discussed
further
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with disposal income will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to spend their money in
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foreign
tour. In
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other
words,
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people
like who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in plains area will always like to visit mountain, hills and beaches.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the
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other
side,
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people
who
Did you mean “live”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘people’ should be used.
lives
in colder area will like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
warmer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For instance
, based on the recent survey result from the tourist committee, seventy percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wants to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like Thailand, Indonesia etc. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to
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explore
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other
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countries
on their holiday.

Secondly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
the new culture of
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on, they visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to gain knowledge of culture, cuisines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For example
, according to recent survey, thirty percent of tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to learn the new culture values and gain much knowledge about the places.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that holiday-goers will travel and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
to the international locations once the world recovers from the
Did you mean “COVID-19” or the alternative spelling “Covid-19” (= coronavirus)?
COVID 19
pandemic situation.
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IELTS essay In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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