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In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on a holiday? Do you agree or disagree

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on a holiday? gw5A
By the advancements taken place in twentieth century, the lifestyle of this generation has upgraded as well. People are taking excuses from their professional commitments after certain time period and in my opinion they tends to explore new places abroad on holidays to other countries more than local places. Further, I would like to elucidate my view point in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, people are obtaining far better payoff/salary from the top multi nationals with uplifted exposures. They are performing their duties better by managing the saving and expenditure. Excess liquid cash and luxury lifestyle reinforces them to utilize the money and plan a magnificent holiday at least once or twice in a year. Second, the banks have become modernized and providing quick tour loans at a minimal interest rate which induces the person to opt this facility and spend memorable moments with their families in the foreign destination. Take an example of foreign tourists, my NRI uncle lives in Canada and earn handsome amount in dollars. He visits once to GOA in a year for excursion and relax. He is earning in dollars and spending in rupees which costs cheap coupled with double entertainment. They also performed several world tours over the years in different country. The main objective is to explore the beauty of world like new traditions, food unlike visiting the local towns again and again. Finally, I would like to conclude by expending that unlike past generation thinkers of travelling in their own country continuously. This generation is adventurous, independent and keen to visit abroad to experience different cultures.
By the advancements taken place in twentieth century, the lifestyle of this generation has upgraded
as well
.
People
are taking excuses from their professional commitments after certain time period and in my opinion they
tends
to explore new places abroad on holidays to other countries more than local places.
Further
, I would like to elucidate my view point in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
begin
with,
people
are obtaining far better payoff/salary from the top multi nationals with uplifted exposures. They are performing their duties better by managing the saving and expenditure. Excess liquid cash and luxury lifestyle reinforces them to utilize the money and plan a magnificent holiday at least once or twice in a year. Second, the banks have become modernized and providing quick tour loans at a minimal interest rate which induces the person to opt this facility and spend memorable moments with their families in the foreign destination.

Take an example of foreign tourists, my
NRI
uncle
lives
in Canada and earn handsome amount in dollars. He visits once to GOA in a year for excursion and relax. He is earning in dollars and spending in rupees which costs
cheap
coupled with double entertainment. They
also
performed several world tours over the years in
different
country. The main objective is to explore the beauty of world like new traditions, food unlike visiting the local towns again and again.

Finally
, I would like
to conclude
by expending that unlike past generation thinkers of travelling in their
own
country
continuously
. This generation is adventurous, independent and keen to visit abroad to experience
different
cultures.
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IELTS essay In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on a holiday?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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