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in the future, lives on earth will be difficult for human to live. Some people argue that more researching should be done on other planets like mar. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

in the future, lives on earth will be difficult for human to live. Some people argue that more researching should be done on other planets like mar. 9r7B7
It is a common belief that humans are more likely to get struggle when surviving on Earth, so people should pay more attention on exploring other planets, such as Mars or Moon. With some considerable reasons, I would totally disagree with this high-risk solution. Lives are becoming more and more difficult for humans. It is mostly because of heavily polluted environment nowadays. There are contaminated water, deforestations, over-use petrol, abused fertilizer, …. All of them have repercussions on people’s well-being, make inhabitants live difficultly. However, all people perceive that universe and other planets are mysterious and unpredictable. Thus, providing funding for some unanticipated and low-rate successful exploring projects is certainly risky and costly. Instead of wasting expenditure on vague researching, national government, as well as local authorities, should allocate resources to improving public health services, replacing harmful energies by green ones, preventing deforestation, … in order to modify the environment and residents’ health. There solutions are more effective and realistic in current life. On the other hand, people might succeed in finding and moving to a suitable planet to live. Nevertheless, it will be a brand new planet, so people must establish and build radical infrastructure with millions of dollar invested again. The rich will have opportunities to occupy new place faster than anyone, and unfortunately, the poor tend to be forgot and abandoned. Furthermore, if perception does not vary anything from currently circumstance, new planet can be the second Earth. As a consequence, raising awareness must be a key factor. Launching some environmental campaigns, teaching protecting environment lessons, … should be tackled now. In conclusion, living on Earth is getting more difficult for humans, and a solution named exploring new planets is gaining hope. Nevertheless, I would disagree for some more feasible measures which can potentially address the issue.
It is a common belief that humans are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
struggle when surviving on Earth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay more attention on exploring other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
, such as Mars or Moon. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
considerable reasons, I would
totally
disagree with this high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
solution.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lives
are becoming more and more difficult for humans. It is
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
heavily
polluted environment nowadays. There
are contaminated
water,
Possible spelling mistake found.
deforestations
, over-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
petrol, abused fertilizer, …. All of them have repercussions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
well-being,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
inhabitants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
difficultly
.
However
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive that universe and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
are mysterious and unpredictable.
Thus
, providing funding for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unanticipated and low-rate successful exploring projects is
certainly
risky and costly.
Instead
of wasting expenditure on vague researching, national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
as well
as local authorities, should allocate resources to improving public health services, replacing harmful energies by green ones, preventing deforestation, … in order to modify the environment and residents’ health. There solutions are more effective and realistic in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
life.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might succeed in finding and moving to a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Nevertheless
, it will be a brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
establish and build radical infrastructure with millions of dollar invested again. The rich will have opportunities to occupy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place faster than anyone, and unfortunately, the poor tend to be
Consider using a past participle here: "forgotten".
forgot
and abandoned.
Furthermore
, if perception does not vary anything from
currently
circumstance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
can be the second Earth. As a consequence, raising awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a key factor. Launching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmental campaigns, teaching protecting environment lessons, … should
be tackled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

In conclusion
, living on Earth is getting more difficult for humans, and a solution named exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
is gaining hope.
Nevertheless
, I would disagree for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more feasible measures which can
potentially
address the issue.
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IELTS essay in the future, lives on earth will be difficult for human to live. Some people argue that more researching should be done on other planets like mar.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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