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In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. with this statement? Qr3X
The survival of our own planet is getting increasingly challenging everyday due to rising disorder in the environment and society. For this, a group of individuals suggests that more funding for research should be extended so that people can end up living on other planets. I disagree with this opinion and therefore, the essay will argue why more fund should be utilized for the betterment of the earth instead of spending on space study. A lot of people opine that the world is becoming unsuitable to habitat in near future because of the high number of social crimes taking place in society as well as the various forms of pollution occurring in the environment. This is unfortunate that most governments and concern authorities fail to effectively control these human-made disasters with the rising number of the population that in turn adversely affect the entire human race. For instance, a study by Harvard University scholars conducted in late 2019 reveals that 45% people living in Chicago feel unsafe everyday to get out from their home for work due to the environmental and social damages. As a result, a significant number of developed countries are working on other planets like Mars to make them appropriate for living in case the earth fails to accommodate their needs. In connection with this, some governments are allowing bigger budget for space research rather than spending them on human needs. Despite the few major obstacles in the world is facing, the idea that the earth will no longer be fit for our living is completely preposterous. The reason behind this belief is that, all the mishaps in society and the lethal pollutions taking place are created by men. The social and environmental distresses can definitely be eliminated or reduced to a significant level if all governments impose strict law and order on its people and emphasis on strong public awareness to save the planet from decaying further. To illustrate, the recent global pandemic Covid 19 outbreak is making people to stay at home and as a result, all countries are witnessing a substantial decrease in overall pollution; also very few crimes are taking place due to the controlled lifestyle of people. So, people still hold the power to protect and heal the earth by their own deeds. To sum up, this is undeniable that men are continuously harming their living planet by unreasonable and reckless behaviour. However, instead of spending more money on researching about a living feasibility in other planets, we should come forward to employ that money on mitigating the existing problems in society and the environment and thus saving the entire population of all creatures.
The survival of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is getting
increasingly
challenging everyday due to rising disorder in the environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. For this, a group of individuals suggests that more funding for research should
be extended
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
. I disagree with this opinion and
therefore
, the essay will argue why more fund should
be utilized
for the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
instead
of spending on space study.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the world is becoming unsuitable to habitat in near future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high number of social crimes taking place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as well
as the various forms of pollution occurring in the environment. This is unfortunate that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and concern authorities fail to
effectively
control these human-made disasters with the rising number of the population that in turn
adversely
affect the entire human race.
For instance
, a study by Harvard University scholars conducted in late 2019 reveals that 45%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in Chicago feel unsafe
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out from their home for work due to the environmental and social damages.
As a result
, a significant number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are working on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
like Mars to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them appropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in case the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
fails to accommodate their needs. In connection with this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are allowing bigger budget for space research
rather
than spending them on human needs.

Despite the few major obstacles in the world is facing, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
will no longer
be fit
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is completely preposterous. The reason behind this belief is that, all the mishaps in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the lethal pollutions taking place
are created
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. The social and environmental distresses can definitely
be eliminated
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a significant level if all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
impose strict law and order on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and emphasis on strong public awareness to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
from decaying
further
. To illustrate, the recent global pandemic
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
outbreak is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay at home and
as a result
, all countries are witnessing a substantial decrease in
overall
pollution;
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few crimes are taking place due to the controlled lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
hold the power to protect and heal the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
deeds.

To sum up, this is undeniable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are
continuously
harming their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
by unreasonable and reckless
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
However
,
instead
of spending more money on researching about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
feasibility in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to employ that money on mitigating the existing problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the environment and
thus
saving the entire population of all creatures.
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IELTS essay In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
442 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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