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In the future, It is assumed that the number of older people will be more than young people in some countries. Do you think it is negative or positive development?

In the future, It is assumed that the number of older people will be more than young people in some countries. Do you think it is negative or positive development? 6lNaW
With advancement in drugs and medicines, people are enjoying longer life than ever before it is supposed that the ratio of old generation would be higher in future. Although this rise may have some benefits, but in my opinion, this is destructive occurrence. To commence, the growing number of senior citizens might put government and the whole community in financial crisis. The more people of retirement age will be there, the more funds will have to be produced. Moreover, elderly people have weak immune system and may easily fall sick. Due to this, they require special healthcare facilities, which authorities have to provide them free of cost. Other services such as free transportation, accommodation, are also used by them and therefore, includes a lot of monetary pressure. As a result, working adult tend to face low salaries and tax burden. One another point to consider is extreme demand of care and attention by family members. As they need to keep in touch with relatives and be looked after most of the time, younger people might face loss of working hours. Consequently, their professional life is disturbed because of low concentrate on work. Besides this, it is seen that elderly are full of knowledge owing to lifetime experience. Some companies and employers opt to hire such experienced employees rather than fresh candidates. Hence, new comers may not receive employment opportunities. Conclusively, despite the fact that old aged people are an asset to society, I firmly believe that over population of them is steadily worst. The issues generated from their increased proportion could be solved by making some improvements.
With advancement in drugs and medicines,
people
are enjoying longer life than ever
before
it
is supposed
that the ratio of
old
generation would be higher
in future
. Although this rise may have
some
benefits,
but
in my opinion, this is destructive occurrence.

To commence, the growing number of senior citizens might put
government
and the whole community in financial crisis. The more
people
of retirement age will be there, the more funds will
have to
be produced
.
Moreover
, elderly
people
have weak immune system and may
easily
fall sick. Due to this, they require special healthcare facilities, which authorities
have to
provide them free of cost. Other services such as free transportation, accommodation, are
also
used
by them and
therefore
, includes
a lot of
monetary pressure.
As a result
, working adult tend to face low salaries and tax burden.

One another point to consider is extreme demand of care and attention by family members. As they need to
keep
in touch with relatives and
be looked
after most of the time, younger
people
might face loss of working hours.
Consequently
, their professional life
is disturbed
because
of low concentrate on work.
Besides
this, it is
seen
that elderly are full of knowledge owing to lifetime experience.
Some
companies
and employers opt to hire such experienced employees
rather
than fresh candidates.
Hence
,
new comers
may not receive employment opportunities.

Conclusively
, despite the fact that
old
aged
people
are an asset to society, I
firmly
believe that over population of them is
steadily
worst. The issues generated from their increased proportion could
be solved
by making
some
improvements.
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IELTS essay In the future, It is assumed that the number of older people will be more than young people in some countries. Do you think it is negative or positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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