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In the current modern life, people are much more busy in their career life inorder to achieve better postion and salary,as a result,many people find it difficult to maintain an equilibrium between their official and personal life. This essay would explore some of the problems caused by the workaholic nature of people and few solutions to bring balance between career and family.

In the current modern life, people are much more busy in their career life inorder to achieve better postion and salary, as a result, many people find it difficult to maintain an equilibrium between their official and personal life. This essay would explore some of the problems caused by the workaholic nature of people and few solutions to bring balance between career and family. obKYb
In the current modern life, people are much more busy in their career life inorder to achieve better postion and salary, as a result, many people find it difficult to maintain an equilibrium between their official and personal life. This essay would explore some of the problems caused by the workaholic nature of people and few solutions to bring balance between career and family. To begin with, the major causes which disturbs the stability between work and relationship is because of the bust schedule and overtime work accepted by people to gain higher salary. In such situations they themselves believe that, they could make their family life much better with the improvement in their financial status. But they are much less unaware of the loss of time which has to be spend with the family members to maintain a good healthy relationship. However, people could develop a balance between job and personal life to some extent with proper time management and by avoiding overtime woks for more money. Moreover, they could spend atleast two hours with the family members daily, without any interruption of social media and official matters, and also they could find some time to go for small family trips atleast once in a month. To sum up, the busy lifestyle of modern man has destroyed the balance between the career and personal life but it is very much important to maintain that balance inorder to have a happy life and therefore people need to maintain their time in a proper way in which their official and personal life has to be equally treated and one should not overlap the other.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
modern
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life
,
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people
are
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much
more busy in their career
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life
Possible spelling mistake found.
inorder
to achieve better
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postion
and salary,
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
find it difficult to
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maintain
an equilibrium between their official and
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personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This essay would explore
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
problems caused by the workaholic nature of
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people
and few solutions to bring
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balance
between career and
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family
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the major causes which disturbs the stability between work and relationship is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the bust schedule and overtime work
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accepted
by
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people
to gain higher salary. In such situations they themselves believe that, they could
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make
their
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family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
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much
better with the improvement in their financial status.
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But
they are
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much
less unaware of the loss of
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time
which
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has to
be
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
with the
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family
members to
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maintain
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
healthy relationship.
However
,
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people
could develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent with proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and by avoiding overtime woks for more money.
Moreover
, they could spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
two hours with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members daily, without any interruption of social media and official matters, and
also
they could find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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time
to go for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
trips
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
once in a month. To sum up, the busy lifestyle of modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between the career and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
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but
it is
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very
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much
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important
to
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maintain
that
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balance
Possible spelling mistake found.
inorder
to have a happy
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life
and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
in which their official and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
equally
treated and one should not overlap the other.
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IELTS essay In the current modern life, people are much more busy in their career life inorder to achieve better postion and salary, as a result, many people find it difficult to maintain an equilibrium between their official and personal life. This essay would explore some of the problems caused by the workaholic nature of people and few solutions to bring balance between career and family.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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  • In the current modern life, people are much more busy in their career life inorder to achieve better postion and salary,as a result,many people find it difficult to maintain an equilibrium between their official and personal life. This essay would explore some of the problems caused by the workaholic nature of people and few solutions to bring balance between career and family.