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In the contemporary world, we live in countless intensive competitions. Therefore, the leader plays a pivotal and critical role in all aspects of life,

In the contemporary world, we live in countless intensive competitions. Therefore, the leader plays a pivotal and critical role in all aspects of life, kgKQ2
In the contemporary world, we live in countless intensive competitions. Therefore, the leader plays a pivotal and critical role in all aspects of life, and benchmarks of selecting expertise and the potential person always prioritize of the group. Some people claim that the leader position should be replaced by adolescents. Though both sides are backed that at a certain age range, it is understandable and plausible, i more supportive for young leaders. Advocates with this point of view claim that, in general, youngsters always have a delicate and sensitive look about this complicated environment. Therefore, they are easy to adapt and innovate, which is the priority factor in the fast-paced changing context of the economy. Moreover, young individual tend to have physical stronger, so they can handle big responsibilities as much as they can. Being a leader need to cope with a numerous strain and pressure, and old people are often capable to doing this. For example. , a young manager can come up with a new advertising strategy for a product, which contributes to the increasing sales of the company. On the other hand, the replacement of old generations can exert a sooner-or-later issues. In all aspects of life, the overwhelming of labour force always the alarming matter in the whole world, so that experienced person are always esteemed. In other words, if organizations maintain a conservative criterion of giving priority to senior leaders, the upcoming aging population would leave a great economic hole. In brief, we can not find the person who adapt with all factors, but we can not neglect the potential character of both young and old person. But in the transformation world, i am convinced that young generation will attributes their capacity will adaptable
In the contemporary world, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in countless intensive competitions.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
plays a pivotal and critical role in all aspects of life, and benchmarks of selecting expertise and the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
always prioritize of the group.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
position should
be replaced
by adolescents. Though both sides
are backed
that at a certain age range, it is understandable and plausible, i more supportive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
leaders.

Advocates with this point of view claim that,
in general
, youngsters always have a delicate and sensitive look about this complicated environment.
Therefore
, they are easy to adapt and innovate, which is the priority factor in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced changing context of the economy.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individual tend to have physical stronger,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
responsibilities as much as they can. Being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
need to cope with a numerous strain and pressure, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
capable to doing this.

For example
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
manager can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a new advertising strategy for a product, which contributes to the increasing sales of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the other hand
, the replacement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generations can exert a sooner-or-later issues. In all aspects of life, the overwhelming of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'force'.
force always
the alarming matter in the whole world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
are always esteemed.
In other words
, if organizations maintain a conservative criterion of giving priority to senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
, the upcoming aging population would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a great economic hole.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
brief, we can not find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who adapt with all factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can not neglect the potential character of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the transformation world,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "attribute"
attributes
their capacity will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
adaptable
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IELTS essay In the contemporary world, we live in countless intensive competitions. Therefore, the leader plays a pivotal and critical role in all aspects of life,

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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