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In terms of government expenses, which one is preferable? Is it better to spend money on new buildings or refund the old projects? v.1

In terms of government expenses, which one is preferable? Is it better to spend money on new buildings or refund the old projects? v. 1
Many people claim that the adolescent years are the most enjoyable periods of their lives because of the lack of responsibilities, whereas some opine that grown-up life endows them with happiness and success. In my opinion, the period when I was a youngster fascinates me because of the relaxing and carefree nature. This essay discusses both views before drawing concrete conclusions. On the one hand, the joy of achieving the goals we have had since our childhood is irrefutably an amazing feeling. In other words, the adult life gives us the potential to accomplish our dreams. Consequently, people can boost their confidence and feel complacent. To illustrate this, the famous movie star, Jennifer Aninston mentions in one of her interviews that the grown-up period of her life has strengthened her and made her feel proud because of the goals attained in her life. Yet another reason is that it can be a stage in our lives where we can have a family of our own. It can be an enthralling experience which any person wants to cherish in his life. In a recent survey conducted by “The Daily mail” in Australia depicts that an enormous number of people are exhilarated about having a family, despite the responsibilities they will have in the future. On the other hand, adolescent stage of life can be an enthusiastic period because of the lack of responsibilities. Due to this, they have the liberty to do whatever they want. As a result, they lead a carefree and relaxed lifestyle. In a recent study conducted by the “Weekly Education” magazine shows that the youngsters are stress free as they do not have any commitments. Furthermore, they are in the phase where they can be spontaneous and attend parties at night. As a result, they become amicable and independent at a young age. To elucidate this, the famous songwriter, John Stamos finds his teenage the pivotal part of his life as being social had succoured him in earning many friends who persuaded him to choose the field of music. In conclusion, each person will have different perspectives about the stage of lives that they find pleasing. From my point of view, I find teenage years the best times of my life because of the carefree and relaxed lifestyle I had.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the adolescent years are the most enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
periods
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of responsibilities, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that grown-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
endows them with happiness and success. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
when I was a youngster fascinates me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the relaxing and carefree nature. This essay discusses both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing concrete conclusions.

On the one hand, the joy of achieving the goals we have had since our childhood is
irrefutably
an amazing feeling.
In other words
, the adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
gives us the potential to accomplish our dreams.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can boost their confidence and feel complacent. To illustrate this, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
movie star, Jennifer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aninston
mentions in one of her interviews that the grown-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has strengthened her and made her feel proud
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the goals attained in her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Yet
another reason is that it can be a stage in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
where we can have a family of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. It can be an enthralling experience which any person wants to cherish in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In a recent survey conducted by “The Daily mail” in Australia depicts that an enormous number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are exhilarated
about having a family, despite the responsibilities they will have in the future.

On the other hand
, adolescent stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can be an enthusiastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of responsibilities. Due to this, they have the liberty to do whatever they want.
As a result
, they lead a carefree and relaxed lifestyle. In a recent study conducted by the “Weekly Education” magazine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the youngsters are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free as they do not have any commitments.
Furthermore
, they are in the phase where they can be spontaneous and attend parties at night.
As a result
, they become amicable and independent at a young age. To elucidate this, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
songwriter, John
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stamos
finds his teenage the pivotal part of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as being social had
Possible spelling mistake found.
succoured
him in earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends who persuaded him to choose the field of music.

In conclusion
, each person will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
the stage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that they find pleasing. From my point of view, I find teenage years the best times of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the carefree and relaxed lifestyle I had.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In terms of government expenses, which one is preferable? Is it better to spend money on new buildings or refund the old projects? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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