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In spite of the advantages mean in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry why is this the case?what can be done about this problem?

In spite of the advantages mean in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry why is this the case? what can be done about this problem? NW1WN
In today’s hectic world where people continuously needs to work non-stop they require a certain amount of energy and however it can be gained by food one eat, Which depends on agriculture. despite of the various New changes made in agriculture half way people still around the globe remains starved. This essay will discuss the cost as well as the solution to this problem which will further be explained. To begin with the main factor because of which many people around the world still go hungry is the economic condition of a globe there is more than half the world who doesn’t have enough money and one food starve because they doesn’t have that plenty money too. Moreover, there is a huge amount of pollution which has been caused by several factors example industry, vehicle, factories, etc. which prevents soil gradation, water pollution and even bad weather condition and by this the amount of food cultivated get spoiled as well as reduces the food grains. Secondly, there can be solution to this problem too we just need to work on it the first thing which can be done is to provide employment and jobs to as many people as can provide them the opportunities in any sector and field as per their skills so they can have money which came toward them food the second thing can be done is that government can apply certain laws and sustainable development which can be useful in future whenever there is need considering current situation. To conclude, there is certain problems which cause this but there are certain solutions to it as well, people and government follow and work in a systematic manner then everything will go smoothly and no one will go hungry.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s hectic world where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continuously
needs to work non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
they require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
amount of energy and
however
it can
be gained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
one eat, Which depends on agriculture.
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the various New
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
made in agriculture
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
half way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
around the globe remains starved. This essay will discuss the cost
as well
as the solution to this problem which will
further
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the main factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world
still
go hungry is the economic condition of a globe there is more than half the world who doesn’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
starve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "don’t"
doesn’t
have that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
money too.
Moreover
, there is a huge amount of pollution which has
been caused
by several factors example industry, vehicle, factories, etc. which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
soil gradation, water pollution and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather condition and by this the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cultivated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
spoiled
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
grains.
Secondly
, there can be solution to this problem too we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to work on it the
first
thing which can
be done
is to provide employment and jobs to as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as can provide them the opportunities in any sector and field as per their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can have money which came toward them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
the second thing can
be done
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can apply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
laws and sustainable development which can be useful in future whenever there
is need
considering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation.
To conclude
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
problems which cause this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
solutions to it
as well
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
follow and work
Consider replacing "in a systematic manner" with the adverb for "systematic"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a systematic manner
then everything will go
smoothly
and no one will go hungry.
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IELTS essay In spite of the advantages mean in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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