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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v.37

Food is an essential need for every human being. The process used for agriculture is a very high-end mode, even though many people still died lack of food. I admit that I will state the causes and solution regarding the biggest problem in the world, scarcity of food. Firstly, in growing culture and the cost of everything being raised, which made a common man life very hard. The rate of food material is being very high in the present market, which tends many people to eat only once a day. As a result, daily wages and migrated people are being mostly affected were, hungry and depression are becoming their family. For example, the rates are so high that a common man’s earnings of 30 days are just abolished in a few days. Secondly, every problem has its solutions. One of the most remarkable solutions is government should take initiative to help the needy people by inventing new schemes and try very hard to make sure it reaching to right people. As a result, it helps many people to sleep without hungry. For example, the Scotland government followed this simple technique and helped almost 40% of people to date. Moving to other solution, every citizen should start donating money to charities which help them directly and also, we can take an initiative to collect and donate them. The world just changes by when we help others. I want to conclude by saying, there are sufficient available of food which is cultivating and preserving but that is not reaching the right person, when it reaches, there will be no person sleeps without eating.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is an essential need for every human being. The process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for agriculture is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
mode,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I admit that I will state the causes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
regarding the biggest problem in the world, scarcity of food.

Firstly
, in growing culture and the cost of everything
being raised
, which made a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. The rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
material is being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high in the present market, which tends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
once a day.
As a result
, daily wages and migrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
were, hungry and depression are becoming their family.
For example
, the rates are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high that a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
’s earnings of 30 days are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
abolished in a few days.

Secondly
, every problem has its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
. One of the most remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take initiative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by inventing new schemes and try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “it’s reaching”, “it is reaching”, or “it was reaching”?
it reaching
to right
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people
.
As a result
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to sleep without hungry.
For example
, the Scotland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
followed this simple technique and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
almost 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to date.

Moving to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
, every citizen should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
donating money to charities which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
directly
and
also
, we can take an initiative to collect and donate them. The world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
by when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others.

I want
to conclude
by saying, there are sufficient available of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is cultivating and preserving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that is
not reaching the right person, when it reaches, there will be no person sleeps without eating.
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IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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