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In some people's opinion, women and men are equal so women should be able to do any profession they want.

In some people's opinion, women and men are equal so women should be able to do any profession they want. XyRBP
In some people's opinion, women and men are equal so women should be able to do any profession they want. However, but others believe that men and women are not the same and for this reason, women are not able to do some specific jobs they want. To a certain extent, I agree with the first thought former notion. Nevertheless, as it mentioned in the second opinion, I think that there are certain jobs women cannot perform. be able to work. On the first hand, women and men are dissimilar to each other. For example, there are certain jobs that women or men cannot could not able to do. However, as a gender < unclear meaning please omit>, /people we should not discriminate between allocate women and men. In my opinion, women and men could be able to do any job they want < repeated sentence>. There is some research that women are more able to any job they want. Nonetheless, there are some jobs that women cannot work on it. For instance, driving buses, driving trucks, mining and some jobs which requires lifting heavy loads. Women are gentle consequently, therefore, todaywomen cannot be able to do jobs that men do. On the other second hand, women are very committed to their work and can be able to do whatever they want with enthusiasm. Men and women have equivalent occasions < unclear meaning/poor vocabulary> in workplaces therefore, women and men are skilled to do whichever occupation they request. Women are independent to perform any job they wish. This is true that some professions are not suitable for women, but if a woman really wants to work in that vocation, she can be accomplished than anyone else. Accordingly, we shouldn't curtail anyone's freedom. Anyone can achieve whatever they want. In conclusion, women and men are free to pursue any do whatsoever profession they want.
In
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinion,
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women
and
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men
are equal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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women
should be
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able
to do any

profession they
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want
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others believe that
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men
and
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women
are not the same

and
for this reason
,
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women
are not
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able
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific
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jobs
they
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want
. To a certain

extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
former notion.
Nevertheless
, as it mentioned in the

second opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
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women
cannot perform.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
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able
to work.

On the
first
hand,
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women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are dissimilar to each other.
For example
, there are

certain
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jobs
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
or
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men
cannot
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
could
not
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able
to do.
However
, as a gender <

unclear meaning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
omit>, /
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we should not discriminate between allocate

women and
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men
. In my opinion,
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women
and
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men
could be
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able
to do any
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job
they
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want
<

repeated sentence>. There is
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some
research that
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women
are more
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able
to any
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job
they

want. Nonetheless, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
cannot work on it.
For instance
, driving

buses, driving trucks, mining and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which requires lifting heavy loads.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are

gentle
consequently
,
therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
todaywomen
cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
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men
do.

On the other second hand,
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women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
committed to their work and can be
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able
to do

whatever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
with enthusiasm.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have equivalent occasions < unclear

meaning/poor vocabulary> in workplaces
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are skilled
to do

whichever occupation they request.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are independent to perform any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they wish.

This is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions are not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if a woman
really
wants

to work in that vocation, she can
be accomplished
than anyone else.
Accordingly
, we

shouldn't curtail anyone's freedom. Anyone can achieve whatever they want.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are free to pursue any do whatsoever profession they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
.
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IELTS essay In some people's opinion, women and men are equal so women should be able to do any profession they want.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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