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In some developed countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year at the end of high school and before starting university. What are the pros and cons for young people who choose to do this.

In some developed countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year at the end of high school and before starting university. What are the pros and cons for young people who choose to do this. pLk9m
In several parts of the world, especially in developed nations, youngsters are encouraged to work or travel abroad for at least one year before joining the university life. I hold the view that this has both negative and positive development. This will be further explained below. To start with, there are many merits for youth to work and travel far afield. In other words, adults have the chance to join the workforce to earn some amount of money in order for them to meet their basic needs, and therefore they will be able to take responsibility in the future. Moreover, youth can expand their horizon by traveling abroad, so they can adapt themselves to the new environment and start to enjoy new relationships and experiences. According to a survey conducted by The Gulf News; almost 60% of young people who work or travel before starting university, found them have great interpersonal skills. As a result, the local council provides incentives to people to work and travel at least for one year. On the other hand, despite the above merits, there are some demerits of this behavior. To illustrate more, life is hard and complex, so if people decide to return back to study, it will be hard for them to remember the curricular activities and they will start from the scratch to memorize the academic knowledge. This means that there will be a delay in learning compared with those who did not take a year break. In addition to this, travel requires a lot of money, and this will put pressure on parents to work double shifts to bring the money they need. Hence, it is considered that this is a negative development. In conclusion, although there are some advantages for adults to join early the workforce, still we see some drawbacks that cannot be ignored.
In several parts of the world,
especially
in developed nations, youngsters
are encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad for at least one year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the university life. I hold the view that this has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. This will be
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits for youth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
far afield.
In other words
, adults have the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the workforce to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money in order for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs, and
therefore
they will be able to take responsibility in the future.
Moreover
, youth can expand their horizon by traveling abroad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can adapt themselves to the new environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to enjoy new relationships and experiences. According to a survey conducted by The Gulf News; almost 60% of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting university, found them have great interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
As a result
, the local council provides incentives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
at least for one year.

On the other hand
, despite the above merits, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits of this behavior. To illustrate more, life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and complex,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to
Consider using "return".
return back
to study, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to remember the curricular
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activities and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from the scratch to memorize the academic knowledge. This means that there will be a delay in learning compared with those who did not take a year break.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, and this will put pressure on parents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
double shifts to bring the money they need.
Hence
, it
is considered
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
early the workforce,
still
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
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IELTS essay In some developed countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year at the end of high school and before starting university. What are the pros and cons for young people who choose to do this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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