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Describe a time you made a promise to someone

Describe a time you made a promise to someone OgBx7
Several times in our lives, we are faced with situations in which we must make obligations to other individuals. Today I'd like to tell you about a promise I made to my grandma while I was in the first term of seventh grade. I remembered how hard I worked and how determined I was till this day. That promise was that after a month, I would have to be first in my class and have a GPA higher than 9. 5. Some think it's difficult, but I believe that once I make a commitment, I must keep it. The implementation is simple; all I need to do is carefully review and work hard to complete more exercises. I should especially go over the tests attentively so that I don't make any mistakes. After one month, the final result made my grandma very pleased and delighted; I came in first position, with an average score of more than 9. 7. Maybe you wonder why I promised that? In fact, because I didn't pay attention to school at the start of grade 7, though I still had the aftertaste of summer and at the start of the year my maths score was less than 5. 0. I slipped to 14th position after that month, so I had to attempt to improve myself. Also seen as a really challenging phase!
Several times in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, we
are faced
with situations in which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
obligations to other individuals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I'd like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about a promise I made to my grandma while I was in the
first
term of seventh grade.

I remembered how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
I worked and how determined I was till this day. That promise was that after a month, I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
first
in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and have a GPA higher than 9. 5.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that once I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a commitment, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it. The implementation is simple; all I need to do is
carefully
review and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to complete more exercises. I should
especially
go over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
attentively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any mistakes. After one month, the final result made my grandma
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
and delighted; I came in
first
position, with an average score of more than 9. 7.

Maybe you wonder why I promised that? In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I didn't pay attention to school at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of grade 7, though I
still
had the aftertaste of summer and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the year my
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
score was less than 5. 0. I slipped to 14th position after that month,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had to attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
myself.
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
really
challenging phase!

IELTS essay Describe a time you made a promise to someone

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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