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In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some countries, children are taught that hard work will help them achieve their goals. In my opinion, this message can inspire and motivate them to overcome hardships, but at the same time, it can cause delusion and disappointment. On the one hand, teaching children that hard work can guarantee success has several advantages. To start with, this message can motivate children, especially those who believe that innate talents determine success. For example, when learning a second language, which is a challenging and time- consuming process, children need to truly understand that hard work, and not talents, is conducive to enhancing proficiency. That way, they could stay motivated and keep on learning when they encounter setbacks. More importantly, the role of valuing hard work goes beyond being a mere source of motivation. It can also help children to develop a positive mentality and improve their resilience, all of which are necessary for their adult life. On the other hand, the biggest disadvantage of the notion that diligence ensures success is that it may mislead children into spending too much time and effort on the tasks in which hard work plays little role. For example, a child wanting to be a professional singer may waste time on voice training without considering their lack of musical talents but still hope that they may achieve success one day. Similarly, most painters need to have a great and unique sense of aesthetics, which is considered as a rare talent and therefore cannot be acquired through hard work. Believing that hard work alone is enough can breed frustration, delusion, or even mental illness. In conclusion, teaching children that hard work will always result in success is a great way to motivate them through hardships. Nevertheless, such teaching may produce undesirable outcomes in situations where hard work is not the key.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them achieve their goals. In my opinion, this message can inspire and motivate them to overcome hardships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it can cause delusion and disappointment.

On the one hand, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
has several advantages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, this message can motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
those who believe that innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
determine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
For example
, when learning a second language, which is a challenging and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time-
consuming process,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to
truly
understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, is conducive to enhancing proficiency. That way, they could stay motivated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on learning when they encounter setbacks. More
importantly
, the role of valuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
goes beyond being a mere source of motivation. It can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mentality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their resilience, all of which are necessary for their adult life.

On the other hand
, the biggest disadvantage of the notion that diligence ensures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is that it may mislead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and effort on the tasks in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
role.
For example
, a child wanting to be a professional singer may waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on voice training without considering their lack of musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
hope that they may achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
one day.
Similarly
, most painters need to have a great and unique sense of aesthetics, which
is considered
as a rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and
therefore
cannot
be acquired
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Believing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
alone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
can breed frustration, delusion, or even mental illness.

In conclusion
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will always result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is a great way to motivate them through hardships.
Nevertheless
, such teaching may produce undesirable outcomes in situations where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not the key.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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