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In some cultures, children are often told that they can get anything if they try to work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving a message to them?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can get anything if they try to work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving a message to them? M1Yo
It is often mentioned that offspring could fulfill all things aimed unless they are unwilling to give a try hard. From my perspective, the merits of aforementioned notion outweigh the drawbacks of it in terms of knowledge acquisition and straightforwardly employed. On the one hand, Children are easily forced to do all duties thereby achieving their future aims. Parents crave for their children being in a good position in future coming up on account of background. In rural cultures, Encouraging young generation is beneficial in many terms. For instance, The people living in rural areas are prone to live as homeless, jobless owing to some reasons relating to finance and industry. It leads aforementioned parents to encourage their infants to try hard to acquire their ultimate purposes in order to improve their current lifestyle. From another angle, There would be a generation gap between parents and children, if parents force or tell their offspring to work hard to become a top member of society their parents want. It is commonly spread amongst youngs that trying hard or not depends mostly upon the choice of a child. If a child of particular parents is told to become what they do not want in future, they will be highly unlikely to work hard and do their best. It causes huge problems to the next world. In conclusion, it seems to me that the favourable sides of altering children to try hard lead our world to a bright future, bringing our young generation up in a good manner!
It is
often
mentioned that offspring could fulfill all things aimed unless they are unwilling to give a try
hard
.

From my perspective, the merits of aforementioned notion outweigh the drawbacks of it in terms of knowledge acquisition and
straightforwardly
employed.

On the one hand,
Children
are
easily
forced to do all duties thereby achieving their
future
aims.
Parents
crave for their
children
being in a
good
position in
future
coming up on account of background.

In rural cultures, Encouraging young generation is beneficial in
many
terms.
For instance
, The
people
living in rural areas are prone to
live
as homeless, jobless owing to
some
reasons relating to finance and industry. It leads aforementioned
parents
to encourage their infants to try
hard
to acquire their ultimate purposes in order to
improve
their
current
lifestyle.

From another angle, There would be a generation gap between
parents
and
children
, if
parents
force or
tell
their offspring to work
hard
to become a top member of society their
parents
want. It is
commonly
spread amongst
youngs
that trying
hard
or not depends
mostly
upon the choice of a child. If a child of particular
parents
is
told
to become what they do not want in
future
, they will be
highly
unlikely to work
hard
and do their best. It causes huge problems to the
next
world.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that the
favourable
sides of altering
children
to try
hard
lead our world to a bright
future
, bringing our young generation up in a
good
manner!
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can get anything if they try to work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving a message to them?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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