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Nowadays, more and more younger people need to compete with older people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What would you suggest as a solution?

Nowadays many people believe, younger people have serious competition with older People for employment for the same position. I personally believe it is true. Since the population exploded during the end of the 19th century, lots of young people who are entering the job market would face competition due to the fewer jobs available. I believe that the younger population should start entering the entrepreneurial route rather than a traditional job. Because by creating businesses, it would eventually lead to more jobs where the younger generation can gain employment. For instance, let’s take larry page where he co-founded google as a startup. Right now it is creating lots of jobs in the market, Where it would become easy for the younger people to get jobs without competing with the older people. Or else it would become a scenario, where older companies would try to become a monopoly and recruit very less number of people. I think by creating startup it would disrupt the big companies and eventually lead to employment for the younger people. since they hire new talents and manpower. Secondly, I believe we should teach and train the younger generation with skills which are multidisciplinary. By doing this it would make the people more knowledgeable than the older people who would eventually retire, in addition, it would also make the younger people equipped to apply for a wide variety of jobs where the competition is less because of their the skillsets. If we don’t, It causes a huge problem where lots of people tend to complete towards the same sector where even the older crowd does, which would lead to a serious unemployment problem. So, I would suggest training younger people with more flexible skills where they can adapt to the different sectors in the market. To conclude, The solutions I suggest are by starting new companies and employing new people and teaching young people with more multidisciplinary skillsets. I strongly believe this is the way to handle and have well-balanced competition between the young and the old.
Nowadays
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many
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people
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believe
,
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younger
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people
have serious
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competition
with
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older
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People
for employment for the same position. I
personally
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believe
it is true. Since the population exploded during the
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end
of the 19th century, lots of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are entering the
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job
market would face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
due to the fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
available.

I
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believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
population should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
entering the entrepreneurial route
rather
than a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
by creating businesses, it would
eventually
lead to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation can gain employment.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s take
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
larry page
where he co-founded google as a startup. Right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is creating lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the market, Where it would become easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
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get
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jobs
without competing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Or else it would become a scenario, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would try to become a monopoly and recruit
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very
less number of
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people
. I
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think
by creating startup it would disrupt the
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big
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companies
and
eventually
lead to employment for the
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younger
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people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
since
they hire new talents and manpower.

Secondly
, I
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believe
we should teach and train the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are multidisciplinary. By doing this it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more knowledgeable than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who would
eventually
retire,
in addition
, it would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
equipped to apply for a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is less
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because
of
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their
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillsets
. If we don’t, It causes a huge problem where lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to complete towards the same sector where even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
crowd does, which would lead to a serious unemployment problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would suggest training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more flexible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
where they can adapt to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors in the market.

To conclude
, The solutions I suggest are by starting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and employing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and teaching young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more multidisciplinary
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillsets
. I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
this is the way to handle and have well-balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between the young and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more younger people need to compete with older people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What would you suggest as a solution?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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